HandyDanPro & LeftyThreads

[Doreen Peri]

I'm thinking of generating income from
some clever, innovative inventions.
I have several in mind and I'm sure that you'll find
that profit's not my only intention.
My hope and intent is to create and invent
some useful new products, as well.
But before I invest in the prototypes,
I thought I'd ask if you think they might sell.

Let's consider them one at a time, OK?
Can I ask your opinion? What do you say?

The first innovation that I will present
is an invention which no one has thought of as yet
for those who quite often misplace certain things.
They forget where they put certain papers, key rings.
It's a Smart Phone embedded in the palm of the hand
with multiple functions at the user's command.
It serves as your house keys and keys for your car
with a click of a button near the palm-pad space bar.
It scans your belongings throughout your whole house,
and alerts of intruders, yes, even a mouse!
Just a brief simple search and you locate lost items
like your glasses, your bank card, computer devices.
With a quick easy visit to the Tech Doctor Joe,
you can have palm embedding of the HandyDanPro.

The second is a product which I feel is quite grand –
underwear that's designed for the left-handed man.
LeftyThreads is the name of this much needed brand.
Simply stated this product is boxers & briefs
for the left-handed dude to make it simple to reach!
Many left-handed men have been found in a jam
since their trunks have been stitched for the right-handed man,
so I thought that I ought to fulfill a great need
and it's not about profit, it's not about greed!
It's only that jockeys and left-handed speedos
could be pretty darn useful and awesome and neato
stitched right for the left-handed man who could use them.
And I don't think a left-handed male could refuse them!
If I'm right and they sell well at Walmart and Target
there possibly could be a rather large market
for the lefty who has all that money can buy
like the upper-class southpaw mega-millionaire guy.

So kindly, dear friends, if you wouldn't mind,
please let me know what you think.
Could these products be used to improve someone's life?
Or do you think that quite frankly, they stink?

dp.9.30.10

[judih]

when you find your niche
dig in
make your million

[Doreen Peri]

that's the purpose of the LeftyThreads... to dig in... hahaha!

Just a little piece of fluff... thanks, judih

writing silly rhyming fluff is my anti-anxiety coping mechanism

[Doreen Peri]

Quite simple, my friend, since the list never ends
for the features of HandyDanPro.
It's waterproof, sir, so not even the whir
of a hot tub could stop it to go.
There are other protections, security plans
which are purchased quite quickly with the touch of your hand.
If you have other questions, just feel free to ask,
we have R&D researchers hot on the task
of answering queries for this fine invention!
And soon on the web there'll be Frequently Asked Questions.

The LeftyThreads are indeed very versatile!
For the ambidextrous gent, they'll be offered reversible.

[joel]

I just had a vision in left brain and right
of fashion and features so apt they delight
the tech-minded brains of ol' techy Japan
as much as the models that Paris command--
and yet I've worry, as male ambidextrous,
I might fall in troubles quite simply perplextrous,
for what if, in commonest sense as I'd think,
my smart phone within my left palm I would sink
so fingers more nimble on touch screens and buttons
might eat up those apps like the fattest of gluttons--
but then, when my bladder is full from di-gesting
the wine that flows over from app-cups of blessing,
and into my sinister jockeys I slide
my cocky left hand with a cocky, smooth ride
to piss out the vinegar growing inside
and, oops, now my smart phone is spanking my hide
(which isn't my usual plan of attack,
though sometimes we just have to give it a whack)
and off goes the lock that I'd hoped would have blocked
when off goes the cam'ra that somehow I'd cocked
and off goes a text (to Mother, no less)
and what am I then gonna havta confess?
I'm sorry: inventions are nothing to blame...
without them my mess would perhaps be the same...
If I'm in a mess, then I'm ev-er-y-boy:
inventions don't hamper our primary toy.
So keep on inventing--th'ideas are great!
I'll buy them all up with a master re-bate!

writing silly rhyming fluff is my anti-anxiety coping mechanism

Yes, Doreen, yes.... Thanks for keeping silliness in the game!

[theirishsea]

The drawback of the HandyDanpro is that you can never put your chin in your hand again---it would activate something----God knows what.


But that invention would be with you at all times.

[hester_prynne]

Lefty Threads!
By George it's brilliant.
I'm going to start saving so I can buy stock!
Cool poem
H

[emel.scott]

I've got it! some mighty cost saving advice
for those of you lefties who fumble at night
perplexed by the stitching and placement of pleats
who end up embarrassed with pee in your briefs
or left handed girls who want to get frisky
and capitalists thinking Dor's venture is risky
the answer is simple though maybe you'll chafe
your waist will turn red and your thighs will be strafed
but even if these things don't bug you a whit
the tip of your weewee WILL suffer a bit
believing its worthy, I still will advance
this righty's salvation for your underpants
just simply remove Mr. Calvin & Kleins
and inside them out, for a southpaw good time

[Arcadia]

lovely buttons...!, but soon or later I always have problems with the instructives...!!!!!!!