bird iNside

Post your poetry, any style.
Post Reply
User avatar
SmileGRL
Posts: 897
Joined: May 25th, 2008, 4:44 pm
Contact:

bird iNside

Post by SmileGRL » November 5th, 2010, 10:48 am

you

died.

winter

came.

i’m a

biRd

iNside

a cage.

noT sure

if i

waNt

to

sPeed up

tiMe.

or

tuRn

it

baCk

User avatar
still.trucking
Posts: 1967
Joined: May 9th, 2009, 12:56 am
Location: Oz or someplace like Kansas

Re: bird iNside

Post by still.trucking » November 5th, 2010, 11:37 am

I missed your poetry

I must be trying to freeze frame time

Time is not what I think it is.
..., space and time are forms of animal intuition. They're tools of the mind and thus don't exist as external objects independent of life. When we feel poignantly that time has elapsed, as when loved ones die, it constitutes the human perceptions of the passage and existence of time. Our babies turn into adults. We age. That, to us, is time. It belongs with us.
Is Death the End? Experiments Suggest You Create Time
please pardon the ramble
Last edited by still.trucking on November 5th, 2010, 11:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"Natural selection, as it has operated in human history, favors not only the clever but the murderous." Barbara Ehrenreich

Avatar

Free Rice

User avatar
judih
Site Admin
Posts: 13399
Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
Contact:

Re: bird iNside

Post by judih » November 5th, 2010, 11:52 am

bird inside
rattling time
like a spoon across a washboard

User avatar
Perdida
Posts: 368
Joined: July 15th, 2006, 8:07 pm
Location: Sydney, Australia
Contact:

Re: bird iNside

Post by Perdida » November 5th, 2010, 5:27 pm

Big Hugs Mj

mxx
The path to true love isn't always straight.
(Uknown)

www.algonquinstable.com

happytrails
Posts: 208
Joined: October 20th, 2010, 6:49 am
Location: ontario, canada

Re: bird iNside

Post by happytrails » November 5th, 2010, 8:50 pm

I really liked this. Really. There is a but. I found my self distracted by the seemingly random capitals. I was trying to decode it. Finally, I just ignore the caps and read it as if they weren't there. Then I was able to enjoy it. Can you tell me? Is there something to decode? Or is that just a personal quirk?

User avatar
SmileGRL
Posts: 897
Joined: May 25th, 2008, 4:44 pm
Contact:

Re: bird iNside

Post by SmileGRL » November 6th, 2010, 4:49 pm

jack.truck...your reply is not a ramble. it was the perfect reply that soothed me. yes, time. is bound to us. it's how we exist. and yet to the universe, it's everything and nothing all at once.

my thoughts behind this poem...on the morning i found out my brother died (last week thursday), it became winter, physically (one day it was autumn and the next undeniably winter). and i could not go to his funeral or my family back in south africa because of immigration documents or process or whatever not allowing me to leave the US and come back. so i felt trapped. and there was all these feelings fluttering around inside me and then there is wanting to turn back time like we always do with loved ones that passed away, or fast forwarding to when i can finally go visit my family again.

judih...exactly

miss M
...yes please

happytrails...thanks. and sorry...no hidden message. the folks here know me as the girl who uses caps randomly. i guess it's a quirk. mostly i use caps as a way of emphasizing words, lingering a moment with just that word and it's place in the poem and possibly it's how i would read it out loud, maybe, sometimes :wink:

thanks for reading and replying guys. i'll reply to some of your posts and share the painting that was inspired by this poem next week.

happytrails
Posts: 208
Joined: October 20th, 2010, 6:49 am
Location: ontario, canada

Re: bird iNside

Post by happytrails » November 7th, 2010, 11:43 am

Okay, I can get used to that. I can even understand capitalizing certain words for emphasis, but the reason I thought it was some kind of code thingy, is because they were sometimes in the middlw of a word or at the end. Oh well, nice poem. I will be watching for more and now that I KNOW I will be able to focus strictly on the words.

User avatar
SmileGRL
Posts: 897
Joined: May 25th, 2008, 4:44 pm
Contact:

Re: bird iNside

Post by SmileGRL » November 8th, 2010, 10:41 am

okay.

so here's a painting i worked on this last week. it's mixed media (papers acrylic paints and graphite pencil) on 16 x 20 inch canvas. the words on the bottom of the canvas is the "bird inside" poem.

this is the first time i've used the new file attachment method (we used to just copy embedded images or links) and i had to resize for it to be accepted.

you can click on image to enlarge.
Attachments
IMG_2450a resize.JPG

Post Reply

Return to “Poetry”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 25 guests