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weepingwillow
Posts: 70
Joined: December 4th, 2010, 3:27 am
Location: In a parallel universe with my feet unable to touch ground

Stay

Post by weepingwillow » December 6th, 2010, 12:03 pm

I no longer want to feel the darkness that evelopes me when you are not near.

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joel
Posts: 1877
Joined: June 24th, 2005, 8:31 am
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia

Re: Stay

Post by joel » December 6th, 2010, 3:12 pm

weepingwillow wrote:I no longer want to feel the darkness that evelopes me when you are not near.

"Eye know longer want two feel the darkness that envelopes me when ewe our knot near."

Your eyes have perceived something longer than mine
and eyes of mine have long wanted what you've known:
two feelings, dualistic feelings,
a conversation of questions and answers whose catechism
is written in the beautiful darkness of letters inked upon a paler page,
letters whose forms are folded like multiple meanings in envelopes postage-paid;
and I'm a kid at nanny's milking time,
a lamb who nestles in our mother's knots of wool,
nearer there to something needed
than where another lamb was bleeded
(such is grace).
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

jim turner
Posts: 215
Joined: November 10th, 2010, 12:12 pm

Re: Stay

Post by jim turner » December 6th, 2010, 4:30 pm

If poems are meant to impart feeling, this is a poem.

weepingwillow
Posts: 70
Joined: December 4th, 2010, 3:27 am
Location: In a parallel universe with my feet unable to touch ground

Re: Stay

Post by weepingwillow » December 6th, 2010, 10:24 pm

Not two feelings. Just one feeling of....

The euphoric entanglement of his coccoon made up of arms and legs heated by his breath on my hair.

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.Lucy.
Posts: 285
Joined: May 27th, 2009, 11:40 am
Location: Stuck between a conundrum and a metaphor
Contact:

Re: Stay

Post by .Lucy. » December 6th, 2010, 10:28 pm

...Recalling...
The road to happiness: Perseverance, Endurance and a whole lot of Hope.

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joel
Posts: 1877
Joined: June 24th, 2005, 8:31 am
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia

Re: Stay

Post by joel » December 7th, 2010, 12:13 am

hope he's aware of the honor of the feeling you experience with him; your verse seems a beautiful longing!
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

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