new york city

[creativesoul]

i was young, newly divorsed
my step father bought me a coat, a purse and gave me two hundred bucks
i lied, said i had a place to go
i liked "go" alot better than stop
it seemed for a good like while
i only had two gears, none were marked slow
i went and got a job at the fifth season
a massage parlor with all the whores
marching around a swimming pool
in sequin bathing suits
i met my husband there,
he was shopping for the mother of his children
i wanted security
not easy to obtain from an international businessman
i never knew i was beautiful
i thought the girls i played barbies with were normal
apparently we all have shadows
that man turned out to be honorable
who would have believed that?
certainly not the womens studies minors i had to straighten out about
men are not the root of all evil
the mother of sons had to find a decent role model
and that i did
i always had an invisable hand
only i did not always play
had many times
to just walk away
that very first husband
i think i broke his heart, as with the second and the third and the fourth-
because i just didnt know how
to love with out jealousy, or lust, or anger
i just had to leave
had to drag husbands out of womens houses all screwed up on drugs
pretending i could handle
fix it-l-ove them back to health
take them to treatment
get me to recovering hands
all of this was about love
but i do not trust myself in new york city
the lighting, the streets, the music
the food, the drinking, oh the bars...
was just too good, and now 35 years later
husbands are coming to tell me thank you and i loved you
"i was the best i ever was with you"
and i still do love you
what does that really mean?

[joel]

i never knew i was beautiful

who would have believed that?

and that i did

because i just didnt know how

all of this was about love

But you're so beautiful. You never knew?
Or you didn't trust...didn't know how to?
"I never knew that I was beautiful."
Who'd ever have believed a thing like that
from someone whose so plainly beautiful
with thoughts and words and turns of phrase and keys,
but maybe you just weren't perhaps aware
that all of this is love...and loving's fair.

[dadio]

impressive poem;

"i was the best i ever was with you"
and i still do love you
what does that really mean?

( important lines.)

[creativesoul]

thank you very much- really flowing these days- sometimes ya get a good run huh?