pay back is a bitch

[creativesoul]

last four years brought on a time warp a mixing of medicine
ideology dogma
and then there was God, call him some name that really touches the part of you that is in awe of beauty, kindness and love, when something so pure comes and tickles you inside when light heals your spine and your face
when giving up teeth seemed a better idea that losing faith in the magic of a dragonfly, or butterfly,
a blue heron...
flew some places over water to see a stretch that placed a seal on her like a brand, like a birth mark on the back of her left calf
small like the shape of the islands...
pele the godess has been awake lately, as lava oozes over the crater lip
i think of kissing
i think of how happy i was
when i was too stupid to know it
the stars above the house were in a circle last night, i could not sleep
the ones that walk on water had other ideas...
the places i went taught hard
i learned well
im still autistic emotionally freaking out when i dont get my way-
every day=or i am begging God to help me, not to eat pain pills or listen to shrinks about anti depressants and drugs to hep me quit smoking- i ve been on the patch for 15 years, invest, there is no way... i want to die an old fashioned way, in my sleep-
but that controli want it, see i get no say in how this goes down, the next right thing... why are the instructions not in my box?
please God whom i trust- see what i can do about this dust
on my feet
in my heart
can we clean it out and start over erase the chalkboard?
i think i would have to take serious drugs to believe that....