Ask. Tell.

Post your poetry, any style.
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joel
Posts: 1877
Joined: June 24th, 2005, 8:31 am
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia

Ask. Tell.

Post by joel » September 20th, 2011, 12:06 pm

[Life's not cleanly organized, and so I find myself happily in love with a different-gender partner and generally appalled and opposed to the military-industrial complex of my nation...and utterly proud of my sisters and brothers whose lives have been opposed who now can die in my name, if they so chose to go, fully affirmed as equal American citizens who may tell about their loved ones and be asked about their greatest joys in life. Not cleanly organized...but....]

If I'm a peacock feather, I'm a man.
And mostly I'm content and dragged behind
in limp potential energy while blind
by my position. When I stand and fan,
however, I amaze you plainly. Can
you argue with my granduer? I'm the kind
of irridescent eye that— nevermind
fragility— creation cannot ban
from potent glory or heroic light
or military service— or from love.
And birds with peacock feathers flock to life.
And you're a peacock feather too; you might
surprise yourself with beauty spoken of
with bugle call and flag and drum and fife.
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

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dadio
Posts: 4652
Joined: December 10th, 2010, 1:20 pm

Re: Ask. Tell.

Post by dadio » September 20th, 2011, 1:17 pm

thank you my bard for sharing this excellent poem.

patrick traveler
Posts: 15
Joined: September 21st, 2011, 12:40 am
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii

Re: Ask. Tell.

Post by patrick traveler » September 21st, 2011, 1:35 am

That's telling them! At first I thought it was a bit too self-conscious, but it's so damn well written you get away with it. Wonderful polemic as it says all the right things with energy and style.

The only phrase that stopped my eye was "military service" and I have no idea why. I thought "my enlistment" would say the same thing but with a better sound. But that's only one person's opinion and I wouldn't change anything based on one person's opinion. I thought this poem shows really good writing.

Kailashana
Posts: 466
Joined: August 4th, 2011, 1:52 pm

Re: Ask. Tell.

Post by Kailashana » September 21st, 2011, 8:19 am

Do tell.

Always speak of love... love has no gender, no *side*. Thank you for sharing.

~A

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