HER NAME.

[dadio]

Her name’s Jane I think
said Jupp

standing beside you
in the school hall

as the girl on the school bus
went by with a slow walk

carrying a bag
over her shoulder

and her dark hair
flowing down her back

anyway he added
how are you getting on

with that maths work
chisel face gave us?

You watched
until she disappeared

into a crowd of other
girls and boys

like watching
the sun go down

on a fine summer’s day
and entering

a dull night
huh? Said Jupp

how you coping
with the darn maths?

All Greek to me
you said

carrying the image
of the girl off with you

as Jupp and you
made your way

along the corridor
to double metalwork

and this metalwork
Jupp moaned

it really pisses me off
what do I care

about making
a frigging tea caddy spoon?

And passing by
a print on the wall

of some Manet dame
you thought

how you’d love
to have a print

of the girl
to carry about

or have pinned
to your bedroom wall

at home
huh? Said Jupp

what’s with spoons?
I’ve no idea

you said
all part

of the brainwash
I guess

and did the girl
move you?

you asked inside
oh yes

oh yes
oh yes.

[revolutionrabbit]

aside from the brainwash of chisel face
it was the girl that moved you, and me

and the life story moves on.

[RonPrice]

I like the flow of your words and the spacing. I taught poetry in schools for 3 decades and, take it from me, spacing is important if you want to pick up readers. Many get turned off of poetry due to spacing.-Ron

[dadio]

Thank you, revolutionrabbit & Ron.