HER WITH NO FIX BUT AN ICE CREAM

[dadio]

The sun was out strong
and there were ducks
and swans on the water
in the park

and Julie
was there with you
clothed
in her hippy dress

and her hair let loose
and unbrushed
in sandaled feet
beside you

on the park bench
she had her legs
out straight
in front of her

as if she were making sure
they were still there
need a fix
she said

need it
like hell
you took in her eyes
lightless as if someone

had switched off
the bulbs in the rooms
of her head
can’t they give you stuff

back at the hospital?
you asked
they’ve no idea
they’re stuff shirts

and narrow heads
she said
that ward sister
doesn’t no shit

you sat
and looked away
some kid
was feeding ducks

at the fence
enjoying the excitement
of the feeding process
lost on the less innocent

it’s all if you do this
such and such will result
and if you take
such and such

this may go away
she said bitterly
how about an ice cream
up there on the rise

of the hill?
you said
she pushed her hands
between her legs

as if to push back
the fix hunger
as if that will solve
the fix shit

she said
didn’t say it would
but it sure tastes good
you said gently

seeing the kid
clap her hands
for more bread
Julie got up

and walked away
and you followed
watching her hips sway
unsteadily

like a ship buffeted
by rough seas
she spoke over
her shoulder

said words about
her parents
the rich
middle class

suckers
about the do-gooders
who came
to the ward

with their bright eyes
and second hand faith
you just listened
walking beside her

her hands going up
and down by her sides
as if out of control
how about that ice cream?

you said
watching her eyes
staring ahead
I know what you’re after

she bellowed
either my soul
to save
or a quickie in bed

an old woman
on a park bench
gazed at her passing by
with that

o dear me look
in her ancient eye
you asked about
maybe take

in the art gallery
look at the Moderns
you had neared
the ice cream van

and she stood there
looking with her eyes
on the menu
on the side

hands motionless
and still
what are you having?
you asked

a fix if I could
but that ice cream
with chocolate flakes
and sauce

will do for now
she said
and so you bought two
from the Italian looking guy

and gave her one
and kept one yourself
and walked on back
by the water

and bridge
she quiet
slow walking
you eating and sucking

no thought of sex
or her fix
or side room
fucking.