starry night ( not necessarily that one)

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saw
Posts: 8695
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

starry night ( not necessarily that one)

Post by saw » June 3rd, 2016, 7:19 am

El Chapo likes recognition
like every conscientious businessman
for his expertise, the crosstown traffic
controlled without colored lights

Sean Penn wants to be a journalist
or anything different than an actor
all the time, Johnny Depp, Kevin Bacon
like to sling their guitars, the wooden stage

beckons like Greek sirens on a starry night
many need to be seen, heard, feel only alive
in the spotlight, in the sun , saguaro cacti
in the burning desert afternoons understand

and there is a succulent force coursing
through the veins of all thriving artists
its abstract blood gives life to desires only dreamed
of in all the hours of toil, love, and sweat

they share their antics like well water
primed from an oasis pump with handles worn thin,
let it flow like a swollen river, let us bathe ourselves
in our creative desires 'til our skin wrinkles like a once sleeping giant
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

Ghost
Posts: 51
Joined: February 14th, 2016, 11:23 pm

Re: starry night ( not necessarily that one)

Post by Ghost » June 3rd, 2016, 7:41 am

Very nicely done!

This is one of the better offerings I've read
at this site as of late.

I like the way you have crafted the line-breaks
and the strophe arrangement. And it's somehow
timely and timeless simultaneously; not an easy
trick-- most poems err too far to one side or the
other, but yours walks it pretty deftly.

Also, I think many poets would have tried to be
too cute by nicknaming Depp and Bacon and El Chapo,
but you just laid those names right out there, and
I think it works better in this case, with this poem.

So: bravo, you! :-)

saw
Posts: 8695
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

Re: starry night ( not necessarily that one)

Post by saw » June 4th, 2016, 7:57 am

thanx for the high praise Ghost...very much appreciate it...very pleased it spoke to you that way....
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

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