Aftershock

[Grinch]

After the slow death the silence leaps
On ears that need the lullaby of screams
To feel at home.
She, as mad as worms, has turned
Her tongue to younger men, too weak
To taste her poison passed as cheap perfume.

After the crash of doors the emptiness;
The lack of hate can pluck the nerves
And leave you cold.
While she, as wild as wheat, is swaying
Hearts with hustle, don’t they see
The way she sculpts them out of shape?

After the last goodbye the yearning comes;
The miss-you-now that burns the eyes,
Nostalgia bites.
Is she, as soft as ferns, still sitting there
Like me? As mad as worms and wild as wheat
Just waiting for the world to find it’s feet.

[Doreen Peri]

OMG.. this is fabulous! I can't stop reading it. I read it 3x. It's music.

Whoops.. Sorry, I don't mean to be overly complementary. I mean, some people don't like that. Forgive me.

Nice poem.

[leafsailors ghost]

Nice poem:
I agree with Doreen ,this is a poem!
As mad as worms ,and or ,wild as wheat ,in context is as it should be to the beat and music of the energy projected. I always say context is everything the poem just rings!

[68degrees]

After the slow death the silence leaps
On ears that need the lullaby of screams
To feel at home.
She, as mad as worms, has turned
Her tongue to younger men, too weak
To taste her poison passed as cheap perfume.

After the crash of doors the emptiness;
The lack of hate can pluck the nerves
And leave you cold.
While she, as wild as wheat, is swaying
Hearts with hustle, don’t they see
The way she sculpts them out of shape?

After the last goodbye the yearning comes;
The miss-you-now that burns the eyes,
Nostalgia bites.
Is she, as soft as ferns, still sitting there
Like me? As mad as worms and wild as wheat
Just waiting for the world to find it’s feet.

There are many ways to write poetry, and this always makes me happy when I read a poem that has a format that I wouldn't write. I'm saying that b/c the old guard capitalization of all first words in a line of poetry drives me batty. Highly distracting to me. Also spoils any impact a line break may carry.

I like the poem's theme, the way it moves, even though I find the language a bit awkward at times (e.g. silence that "leaps on ears" / "After the crash of doors the emptiness;" Something not quite right here...an adverb clause sitting all by itself. I really don't mind b/c I'm not a grammar Nazi but at least put a comma after "door" or give "emptiness" a verb to work with).

"mad as worms" is a great image. But not twice.

After all the screaming and such, I would question why the N. would refer to this abuse as "nostalgia"...just curious. The title (another "shock" of sorts) doesn't match the soft ending.

Poem reads aloud like a dream.

Thanks for posting.

68degrees

[the mingo]

Grinch - you fuckin' asshole Enjoyed

[Grinch]

Grinch - you fuckin' asshole

Finally somebody has recognised my true talent.


68degrees

I agree it's a bad poem riddled with mistakes, all my stuff is of a similar ilk which is why I don't post (or write) much these days.

LG,

Glad you liked it and thanks for reading and taking the time to reply.

Doreen,

Nice poem.

Nice reply

[68degrees]

68degrees

I agree it's a bad poem riddled with mistakes, all my stuff is of a similar ilk which is why I don't post (or write) much these days.


You're putting words in your response that I never said. If you want me to just write "enjoyed" I can do that.

68degrees

[Grinch]

You're putting words in your response that I never said.

Yes, sorry about that, it's a bad habit can't seem to shake. A form of projection I guess.

[judih]

good poem. enjoyed
and happily surprised to read this so early this morning
thanks