Encore

[sasha]

many years ago
still at the cusp of "middle age"
I followed a compass course
to a spot I'd seen on a map -
a local topographic curiosity
well-known hereabouts only
to moose and bear -
and I've thought of that place often...
so yesterday
I returned
an unplanned excursion
this time steering by the sun
this time challenged by the uneven footing
this time crossing stone walls
only where handholds could reassure
my sense of balance...
and before long, I was there -
atop the cliff
looking over the edge at the swamps below...
and I felt a chill -
a shiver of pleasure
awash in a wave of triumphant joy
that I'd thought had died with my youth...
and after I'd turned back,
enormously pleased with myself,
chugging along the miles back home,
I thought,
"this has been a GOOD day..."

[saw]

nuthin like it roy
an experience I'm familiar with and long to do again

Keep it up !

[sasha]

1thanks - the euphoria of finding & standing at that place again lasted the rest of the day. Hope you get to reunite with the Gunpowder once this winter finally quits. (I can hear the Millers calling....)

[mnaz]

I, on a few occasions, have managed to return to a few of my favorite spots in the desert wilderness, though necessarily on foot, and yes, I experienced a triumphant sense each time.

[sasha]

yeah, finding that cliff again was kind of a "last hurrah" moment. I've been aware more than ever of my mortality lately - Jesus, I'm closer to 80 than I am to 70. Some of my old journals date back to my laser lab days, sprinkled with casual references to single-harmonic generators, scanning galvos, diffractive optics - all just buzzwords to me now. I used to be the go-to guy for short order computation, the guy who could do combinatorial mathematics in his head - now I couldn't perform a simple linear regression without a tutorial and a 2-day head start. I used to scuba dive, and taught myself to use a compass. Now, I haven't strapped on a tank in 25 years, and couldn't tell you which end of the compass needle points north.

So little victories like this tramp mean something to me. Not sure just what - not exactly "see, I've still got it", in defiance of my age. I accept that I've gotten old, and that the train I'm riding is slowing to a stop. I guess I'm just not ready to surrender to the inevitable. It's going to get me, like it gets us all. But until it does, I'd rather keep busy, doin' what I've always done as best as what's left of my body will let me. It's nice to see that these things can still bring me pleasure, even if I have to take smaller bites to experience them....

[winddance]

yes the train is slowing. I will be 75 this year on the 4th of July. the family want to plan a big party, the country is too I guess. I think that a walk to one of my favorite places would be a better way to celebrate. I used to do the 8 miles in and 8 miles out in one day but might have to stay one night now. It's only a glen, a turning of the trail but the trees will remember me.

[sasha]

If anything, age seems to have allowed me to experience these things as they are, for themselves, and not as personal victories. It's taken ego out of the payback, replaced it with a sense of belonging. That perspective seems to make the End a little less scary, a little more - natural.

I've also got my favorite trees scattered about the area. I always have to stop & look, and must confess to sometimes fondly addressing them aloud....