Facial ID

[Doreen Peri]

My phone didn’t recognize my face
for a minute. I couldn’t get in it.
Probably ‘cause of frowns or some other
blubber, tears or a slight veer from my
normal demeanor or somewhere in between
perfectly normal and not. I have no clue why
to be truthful. All I got is this not-so-youthful
expressions of dismay. Why wouldn’t my phone
open with my face like it was supposed to?

Most of you don’t have an answer, I see.
What a stupid idea, Facial ID.

Our expressions can change dramatically and
the me you would see last week or even yesterday
is completely different than the me you’d see today!
This is a grand technological fail! I’m the insignificant
warning, soon to be large scale
because my phone didn’t recognize my face
for a minute. I couldn’t get in it.

(This is serious business! Don’t laugh)

[sasha]

bless me father for I have sinned
50 years since my last confession
and here's my worst sin -
I hate my iPhone
sacrilege, I know
heresy
but I hate that thing
with a passion usually reserved for beets
and current pop music...
took me an hour to figure out
how to delete an old text -
never did get voice navigation to work -
and by the time I managed to answer
an incoming call
they'd hung up...
all it ever does for me
is raise my blood pressure
so until the day
that I can deep-six the fucking thing
in laurel lake
it sits on a shelf
uncharged
silently giving me
the finger

[Doreen Peri]

That’s so funny, Roy! But not! I’m sorry you have such difficulties with it. I live on my iPhone. I have for several years… maybe 10! I do everything on it except work. I’m a graphic designer so I need my MacBook or iMac to work…. But being mostly retired with only one steady client now and an occasional additional design job, I maybe need my computer only a few times a month. Otherwise? I’m on my phone bc it’s much more portable than even my laptop! Much more convenient. I’m on it now, typing this.

Usually my face gets me into my phone… it unlocks it. It also gets me into several different websites and apps. But yesterday? I couldn’t get in my phone! It didn’t recognize my face and it was quite disturbing bc for a few minutes I didn’t remember my phone’s passcode since I rarely use it since I use facial recognition! Hah. A catch 22.

I had been crying, I admit it. I’d just had some bad news. But anyway, so it got me thinking… how will Facial Recognition Technology work as we age? How? If you can’t get into your bank account, for instance, bc you didn’t get enough sleep the night before and the Facial ID software thinks you’re someone else bc you look 10 years older, then what???

So I wrote this poem. Maybe AI can escalate your aging process to recognize your face for access, but it sure didn’t work yesterday! lol

Rambling on. Oh well. At least it got a poem out of me, a very rare occasion lately.

Thanks for reading it! And thanks for your poetic reply!

[sasha]

I log onto mine so seldom (and I'm such a putz when I do) that I'm not sure I can say anything helpful for you. Sometimes it recognizes me, usually not. I never thought much about it - lighting? glasses or not? O/S out of date? dirty screen? Don't know. I'm no longer surprised whenever it fails to do what I want. I was a programmer for 7 years, and an unofficial one for the next 35 or so, writing custom engineering apps for the PC - so I do know a little about interface design, & know a bad one when I see it. I'd like to think my disdain for the iPhone isn't entirely the ranting of a disgruntled Boomer. (Maybe only 85-90%). I just wanted to assure you you're not the only one frustrated by it. But I haven't used mine enough for it to become indispensable.

[Doreen Peri]

Ohhh wow! I must be a terrible communicator. No, not at all. My iPhone does not at all frustrate me usually. I live on my iPhone. I love it! I wasn’t looking for answers to solve any problems at all. I was only mentioning Facial Recognition Technology because that was the theme of my poem. It inspired a poem!!! Yay!!!! I need to write and I did and I love it! I might record it. I need to get back into my arts. I’m a spoken word poet and this poem was meant to be read aloud because of the meter and rhythm and rhyme and the humor about aging … bc you are are aware, aren’t you, that your aging can and will eventually lock you out if everything!!!! Hahahaha… that was a joke. Maybe. lol

But no, this was not intended to be a cry for help for anyone to fix my facial recognition software on my iPhone. Nope. It was only meant to amuse you and cause you to ponder your own aging and tears (if you are a man who will admit you have them haha) or whatever the hell it is you’d like to explore when it comes to the future of technology and the fact that it is possible it will fail us all! Especially those who don’t have faces to begin with! ( cue creepy sci-fi Twilight Zone music)

So, I’ll leave you with this. I will be back, I assure you. Especially because I feel my voice is coming back! I am creating again, words strung together to create music and sometimes humor if, God or Goddess willing, we allow ourselves to laugh. Shall we? What a grand idea.

I don’t know what people do without using an iPhone. How do they even live in this 21st century? It’s beyond me. You must have a REAL life! I am envious.

And with that, I wish you an enjoyable evening! Personally, I spend every evening almost on my iPhone posting on the internet, reading on the internet, watching live videos on the internet or even recorded ones …. While petting my cats, the only evidence of life I have.

And today’s best ever NYT crossword clue was “The ones who measure meter by the feet” —- 5 letters ends in S.

Hahah! I love it! Peace out, my friend! Be well. I appreciate you!