writeing after a joint

[Axanderdeath]

Had a small head. It was kind of funny looking, his head, in a sad way. But that was hardly my fault and I was not about to feel bad for some complications that his mother and doctor had years ago. Don't know how many years ago because I never asked him his age. Chances are he did not know. I was working in the gavel pits that summer and if you asked me the point of the pits and the gravel and the meaning of the work I was doing again I could still not tell you—but a man that never asks questions has no answers (someone may of said that before. But again, well I guess you get the theme of not working very hard to be completely correct and knowledgeable) and not just men. That goes for women too. Any way Dick one of the smart asses that I worked with was talking about Josh's head. Dick and I went back and forth starting with Dick:

“Fuck you Joshy boys noggin?”

“No. Aw what do you mean?” Of course I knew what he was talking about.

“It is all off set and shit! You didn't notice that? Should not of gotten that fucking buzz cut”

“well I did not notice.”

“how couldn't you not?”

“wasn't looking?”

“what're you looking at?”

“Fuck Dick your name is fucking fitting as fuck you know that?”

“Yhae.” Dick said. I am sure he was proud of the fact too.

The dirt was strange silver brown—I am sure that meant that there was some kind of mineral more prevalent in this particular dirt than other dirts. Say the dark shit composed dirt of long sunny days in backyard and dog's walked delight. I was a shoveler. Dick and Josh were wheel borrower's and I'd fill em up from one pile and the would run it down and made two new piles about 100 feet away—like I said I did not ask questions. It was shitty work, the color of dog's walked delight if the work were color coded. The color of the dirt we were shoveling was misleading. All sliver and shit. Fuck! It should be good work with such a rich dirt, but then again I was not sure the silver color really meant that it was laden with silver or even if there was any silver in it.

Anyway that is what I did for 8 hours that day. Josh's head got more and more disgusting with every load of dirt and then on top of that were Dick's asshole comments and names and theories about the poor guy's head. Dick tried to put his hand on Josh's head to see if Josh's misshapenness of head would fit Dick's palm. Josh did not like that and got water eyed and worked with his head down. It started to rain in the last hours of the day and I was muddy as hell by the end of the work day.

We all smoked a joint after and we all then sleeked of in the rain our separate ways. Even Dick looked a bit downed by the rain.

I went to the movies like I did most nights. I liked to watch the movies. I like the explosions and the running from the explosions and the factory shoot outs. I watched the movie and drank whiskey and yelled at the screen. I cheered at the explosions and the fire and the death and the predictory of it all and reveled in making the experience of the chasing and the watching of good looking people doing things that usually ugly people do uncomfortably and unsatisfactory for the rest of the movie goers. I figured that if good looking people actually had lives worthy of a block buster movie then more people would know them, because they are good looking—you know that the more aesthetically pleasing, the more well shaped head you got the more people will associate with you—good looking people fear the ugly because the think they can catch ugliness which could be true. My biology teacher was pretty ugly. In fact they all were! (teachers) ! All head strange bumps and imperfections and would talk too much.

“How can you ask an ugly person a question?” Good looking people think... I am sure holly wood is very careful about this--using face masks and shit to protect the good looking people from catching misshapen head or one ear slightly smaller or larger than the other. I am neither very good or bad looking and that is the problem I think...

I some times think things and then later think about thinking them and realize that what I just thought was complete bullshit. Never asked if other people do the same.

Dreams of shoveling dirt. It is dark and I am shoveling dirt. Nothing can be seen but the dirt arena and I am in competition to shovel the dirt. Miss America has come out to judge the shoveling. She stays far enough away to keep her figure and perfect face and body. The announcer yammered on about where each of the shoveler's come from and our stats—I am like a Wayne Gretzky of the dirt shoveling world. The faceless crowd chants my name. It is intense like being extremely hung over and being around kids. Small and noisy kids—forming heads—skulls not hard—this type of thing can give good looking people strokes if they are not very cautionary about it.

I wake up and take a piss. The wind is howling. There is a constant taping and if there were a gate then that is what it would be, and I would have to go and close it. My thoughts drift to the sheen of the silver dirt—some type of pathway in the brain—I had to close the gate when I was growing up, and had to look out for dog shit. The same color of the dirt... Oh it was silver. But why. Why not ask i thought? I thought why not just ask and then maybe I would know. But no. No that would not be right, plus I could get uglier in the process.

Geoff Parsons

[mnaz]

“Fuck you Joshy boys noggin?”

“No. Aw what do you mean?” Of course I knew what he was talking about.

“It is all off set and shit! You didn't notice that? Should not of gotten that fucking buzz cut”

“well I did not notice.”

“how couldn't you not?”

“wasn't looking?”

“what're you looking at?”

“Fuck Dick your name is fucking fitting as fuck you know that?”

“Yhae.” Dick said. I am sure he was proud of the fact too.

I like this hard stretch here.... it seems I've been there...

I some times think things and then later think about thinking them and realize that what I just thought was complete bullshit. Never asked if other people do the same.

Yes. I gotta believe it's somewhere near universal...

—I am like a Wayne Gretzky of the dirt shoveling world. The faceless crowd chants my name.

I love this part.

Good read, Geoff...

[Axanderdeath]

I would of commented on your god and truth cowboy thing but I feel sick and I am not sure if I can say anything that is worthy--I liked it alot though--Do you believe in a God of orginized religon or your own, or is your God truth, or do you belive that an orginized religiopn has a truth saying od--it was a loaded poem there and it was hard to comment on or I would of--I do read your stuff, but don't know how to comment so I am sorry about that...

thanks for reading me...

[Marksman45]

I don't necessarily want to encourage the use of, erm, <i>substances</i> for creative output (I am officially neutral on the subject, and personally use only caffeine and nicotine), but I enjoyed this.

"I some times think things and then later think about thinking them and realize that what I just thought was complete bullshit. Never asked if other people do the same." -- as mnaz said, I think this is universal. It happens to me on a daily basis :)

[mnaz]

Groovin', Geoff....

But I had to withdraw my God/slash cowboy poetics, because I need to work them a little harder... It didn't quite flow after several rounds, and that's how I knew I was in trouble...

[stilltrucking]

Nice work

thanks