a repost, rearranged

[joel]

a repost, rearranged as elizabethan sonnet:

Do you remember when at last we kissed?
You said you’d like a simple touch.
My lip: for faith,
a love shared sometime,
reminisced that you received me—
grace but knows I’d grip your lip.

You said you’d joy to nest within my arms.
You said you’d journal what it meant:
raw truth in trust.
You’d like and were it;
sin (for wise or otherwise) was not.
I went to hear my love

receive in innocence confession loves you didn’t need me voice.
Were you to hold regardless common sense
and prove temptations manifest,
what choice:
my eyes were open when we kissed
and I watched Satan honestly come silent by.

[lilywhite]

I must say this is well reconstructed. Especially putting "my eyes...come silent by." at the end really hit home for me. I do feel that the first line of that stanza could be shortened by only one word. 'Loves', I think could be omitted and add an 's' to confession, or not.

Enjoyed this one.