i can see you

[creativesoul]

i know when you try to enter my back, through my tatoos
i have found ways to block you
i have always been able to track you
with the snow leopard
even now i laugh while the heat is on
and you sit in the lifetimes of death and magic crystals that sunk Atlantis
even with your incantations and silly spells
there is always a loop hole
fear is always with you
walking with what you think
there is a crack in the sidewalk
and you wouldntt want to break your mother s back by stepping on it
superstitous and suspicuous of all the variations
i leave you now to try some more girations
hoola hoops and booma rangs keep sendiing your toys out with a twang
broken gituar strings and girls with long gray hair
stupid enough to pay for your sexual flare
wooden boxes by the bedside filled with quarters and pipes from a dead girlfriends collection
left me wondering about the power of your errection
just who and with what did i have sex?
were you a man a woman or your dead brother s ghost
leave me alone
peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth
mother dressing you like a girl
made you go south
i thought when she was dead
that you would change
alas there is nothing that can make you
not be strange
dont ask me to marry you on halloween at a chinese bar in astoria
with all those elephants that cannot forget
just leave me alone
all the jewelry with those dark energies
had to throw them in the river
made blisters and rashes on people s fingers
if i wanted to love darth vader
i would have stayed in outer space forever
but you were there so i had to go
where you could not exist
in the light, without drugs or alcohol
where you would have to rearrage your chemical compounds
and would freak out for sure
at all the things you have done in a blur
so with your nasty fur
please my personal beast
leave me alone

[stilltrucking]

what can I do to protect myself from you?

I just can't run anymore

I turn to face my doom

There in the darkness

Playing tricks with my eyes

The shadows shift

The unknown fear

Is the one I can not face

I must invent monsters, name them, to tame them

Is it a grave I see

With stairs descending

I suppose it is that time of my years

Good night


spooky

[creativesoul]

pehaps the person that needs protection is me
i have done nothing but walk away
it is so easy calling you out
why dont you stop sniveling and pouting
i loved you so much
but i am not the same person i was back then
which is why all these antics do not work
those are steps
working them would provide you with a way of life that would enhance your present existance

my ideas---- about love and rommance have changed, transformed by education, art and finally moving from those dreadful small closed up sewn into a quilt of europeon colonization and habit clinging saturated in tobacco and alcohol towns fish stinking dock rotting
towns
beauty is not anything when you are so lonely that death looks like a solution
the questionis how can you make your life really worth living?

[creativesoul]

the rain fell
once more i had to slap away the past with a sting
too many times it had taken me to that dark festering place
dust balls on a mop shaking off a wooden porch
each fluttering in the wind
with the light glistening through cat hairs, human hair, wolf hair, buffalo hair and dust
i prayed to be released from this place, from you
the last few years filled with ghosts and imprints on tissue that no longer felt anything
i asked for total transformation
let me go back to the way i lived when i had alot of friends
when art and health were my focus
before love tore my heart out and bled me like the spanish inquisitors
i had brief moments in that town when i thought i could convince myself to be a country girl
bake bread and clean house
talk to the trees and the land, maybe weave a blanket or two
not so because your vocabulary and discussions we once had
had given me a hunger
the first taste was always free
now i sought people that could hold discussions
i could disagree with thier viewpiont and laugh
and we would still be friends
maturity seemed to replace a once childish notion of love
generosity replaced jealousy
i found my body , alone
and began to nurture it
and my heart began to glisten like a firefly
spark at a time
i have muscles where there once was a soft woman
there are now forms and strength, and willingness
i left my family to become who i am today
my children, husbands lovers and friends
i spend long periods of time learning things i have always wanted to understand everyday
with a passion
my hunger for life has returned
it has all been worth it
i sought people that were better than i am
and i have benefited by thier examples
my ideas about life and surrvival that i formulated when i was a teenager
were worthless
i had to toss them into the big washing machine of life
and clean them up
every metal needs to be polished, burnished
as the spirits of truth need to be claimed and sought
clay that is not fired and glazed is brittle and cold to touch
and although beautiful and organic
holds no water
has no purpose
perhaps it is the ones that love us the most
that allow us to change in thier presence
i have not known this kind of love
when a seed breaks through the earth, there are things that get rolled out of it s way
maybe the best i can offer is that growing is not the easiest place to nestle
but when you arrive at a place
that is safe
you blossom
rain drops land on your petals
and you stand tall
tears that were shed
are now just rain fallen

[ALundwall]

as many know i am not a big fan of rhyming...but the images that you conjure up in this piece are spellbinding in a way that i cannot quite put my finger on...

--andrew lundwall

[ALundwall]

oh btw as i read through your responses to stilltrucking i was reminded of a song by joy division...i think the song was "heart and soul"...it's something that keeps going through my head as i've gone through so much...the lyrics read or are sung something like this "the past is now part of my future / the present is well out of reach"...it's a very hypnotic song...it has this drone-like ambient quality to it...atmospheric mabye?...and i guess the themes that you project in your response to the trucker remind me of this once more...the song just circles over and over like an old drinking buddy that stumbles to the same stool at the "cheers" bar night after night...you know that kind of song? the song that propels you...the body song...the song that could be the soundtrack of your life?...well "heart and soul" by joy division is just one of those songs for me...it is important to me as certain works of art are important to me...

[stilltrucking]

Pack up all your cares and woes

I am happy to oblige

Paint his face on mine


Let it rip

Throw it in my face

Dont let it fester.

Dig it out

Cut it out

just pick a target at random

any man will do

All men are equally guilty

as if I loved you

deserted you

lied to you

or knew you


I am greta garbo

and the road to hell

is paved with lonely intentions

you got to move on

There was never a man more pussy whipped than me

Believe me I know

let it go

don't be penis whipped

This is my karma as a woman hater

There is no protection

[creativesoul]

karma as a woman hater
?????
the strange thing about hate, is that if you experience it
it s opposition is love
and often veiled in a disguise
of which only a master could portray in secret

[stilltrucking]

I am a fortunate son


rain drops land on your petals
and you stand tall
tears that were shed
are now just rain fallen


Nice work

[gypsyjoker]

You see through me
But I don't think you see me
How could you
You see me as arrogant
I see myself as an ignorant child
Yes you have changed
But you are still a sophomore
I hope you get beyond that.

It will be my eternal regret that I am going to die a sophomore.

Take a lesson from mousey1
She dies by inches

http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtop ... hogan+test

[Doreen Peri]

Just wondering... do you perform your work? This one begs to be spoken.

Enjoyed... !

[stilltrucking]

I was thinking a movie script same thing i suppose.

yeah i enjoyed too

much too much maybe

You know how I ramble.

[creativesoul]

although these words were written i could see them forming
yes i go to open mikes around the portland area
someday maybe doreen
we will perform together
your washington dc fest is during native ceremony
cannot go
mom lives there
could have worked out well
i thank ya

[lenny]

Very intense write and great use of imagery to describe the person you were referring to. Gosh, there is so much here to comment on I don't know where to begin. I know the person you describe herein so well - probably many of us do - but it sounds like you had a bit of a rebirth. Good for you, girl. And it's never too late when bitterness is cast aside.

Peace,

lenny

[Doreen Peri]

Well, next time you plan on coming out to visit your mom, let me know and we'll go to an open mic together or put a show together ourselves, ok?

Keep on doing what you're doing. It's a good thing, for sure!