pimp and hoe party

[creativesoul]

my children were young and beautiful, so was I at the time but I did not get it at all. I had married well, trained from birth to land a good man, and he was caring for me in his very italian way, I did things to get his attention as he was often in Nigeria.He loved it there, he was the boss of a construction company, built off shore oil wells, and he married a hippie indian and thought of me as a capitalistic venture, of which he assumed ? that I would follow him anywhere that he went, that I was his property. I went a long with this for a while, until the children were born and had to go to school. I spoke italian, but the more profound and interesting conversations had eluded me, I had shrunk to white wine and gourmet lunches at Gino s one of my oldest friends, one of the few of our oldest friends.Gino witnessed everything, my second son being born, my mother and sister coming to Italy for the birth; and the crumbling of my marriage, the growth of my children, and finally he became a teacher of my youngest son.
Gino knew that marrying a woman like me was a good thing, but that I was not the kind, to stay alone.
He watched as my mother -in law and all her sisters dominated and made every attempt to kill whatever feeling I may have had for her son, with her insistance that I do what she was willing to do for her son.His laundry, hemming his pants, biting her lip when he blew up etc
I watched how the entire set up took place, then at exactly the right moment, I packed two suitcases and went to my grandmother s house, in California.It always takes me a while to make a decison like that.
The kids and i moved into a house in Venice that was not finished, and I finished it with the builder, and drank martinis with him while doing that.
After A whole lot of fighting, about being lonely, and alot of ditzy blondes that live in LA telling me how lucky I was to have man that just sent checks, I had had it.I sold the house after getting permisson from the state of California to leave, and moved to Kauai with the bambinos. I thought that I had arrived in paradise, but I think that that was maybe tinted with a love for Hanalei, and the tropical lush orange flowers in the trees, ginger flowers, and monkey pod trees.
We built this house together after our divorse with a wing or me and a wing for myself, and the kids had kid rooms, but we put a billard table in and a large black leather couch, and a giant television.
My son Jess had just gotten a fore runner with the master of the universe seat in it, and I was getting calls that he was catching air at barking sands, a south shore beach, with 5 other kids in the car with him.
The" I am not drinking kit" was in the back seat as well.I was laying in a beautiful 4,500 square foot house worried to death that my son was going to kill all the neighborhood kids with his car, which was not too uncommon in Kauai.
Around this time we hired a psycologist, healer named Edward Farmer and a home school teacher named Pamela Tong, to help me to help my kids, as surely I was a fuck up, and was fucking them up too.
Primo, my x-husband was always yelling "What are you doing?" and waving his hands around with his neck getting redder and redder. although we had not been married in years, we still acted and behaved much like we were. I had been taking recovering drug addicts to a Dr spears to get clean, "medically detoxed" is the term I believe we used back then.
After a period of time of worrying when I was going to get the fatal phone call, I called Spears up and told him that I needed some valium, and I needed it now.
He tried to refuse me, and I told him I was going to blow up his office if he didnt call it in right now.
so he did
This psycolgist healer guy edward, has us all dis-enegaged from our friends so he can anaylise us for 90 days, in our home setting, I am not sure how much we paid him for this. The kids got home schooled, and I now had no life at all.No privacy. So I did what a real addict does, I said "bye bye" and took three ten milagram valiums and went to sleep.
Well the beginning of every run for an addict always looks ok, ya know "big deal, she s out like a light"
but ya know it does not ever end that way.
So I got some codine cough syrup, and some good pot, and I thought I could handle it, ya know.
The kids are happy, mike who is 13 waits til I get stoned says , youre such a good driver when you are stoned mom"and comes in my room, and asks me for a ride some where
no way
so he takes the car and drives himself.
normal right?
Then I wake up and there are like 20 or so 17 year olds in the living room playing pool, watching televison, drinking beer. It was like a spoiled kids star wars bar.
So I got this brillant idea, I was miserable and had been a parent for 16 years alone now, "lets shake em up roll the dice, youll be ok" a voice in my head said.
the few discussions I had had with my boyz lately ended in a line up at the toaster for a cigarette lighter, and a tense conversation or two later, I was tired of hearing how I should cook and clean and blah blah blah
So I called a couple of people and said"we re having a pimp and hoe party" come dressed chessy, and hoopla it up
there were six hundred people that came, in three hours from all over the island.
the homeowners association was filming it, the kids were throwing beer bottle s off the balcony, and the cops came and told me to shut it down.
The next day Primo flew in from Nigeria and took custody of the children, kind of
he hired the home school teacher to be their legal gaudian, and then he flew back to Nigeria.
About six months later my kid almost over dosed on heroin, and I wobbled up to the kidney dialysis lab, thinking everything was all my fault, but sometimes it isnt see...
and I was told that I needed to "accept my sons decisons whatever they were"
boy that sounds alot easier then it is..
So now it is eight years later, the kid is sober, and mikey has his own car, and things are pretty good.
But back then I did not know what I know now.
I really had such a dramaticly different ideas of how my life was going to be.
I had to leave Kauai because I was angry enough with Pamela Tong to want to really harm her, so I moved to Oregon.
I hear alot of different women talk about how the man they had children with did nothing to support thier kid, and they bash them . I have to be the one that says, "ya know the father of my children has been an honorable man"
Who would have thunk it?
Truth is he has
The native american s send the young men to live with the men when thier voices begin to change.
yeah that is what really happened.
I still cannot get his attention, but that is ok. no one else can get that either.
my friends all laugh when I tell Primo stories, and we imitate his voice and"what are u doing?"
but the truth is, that Gino has the clearest perspective of anyone.
He has watched it all, for 25 years now.
He came to visit me when I was living in the dorms at Portland state, and I guess I was hogging the blankets, so he bought me a blanket. we slept together on my futon and didnt have sex. I think that was a first for him.But after being friends for this long, it just didnt feel right, ya know?
however, he asked me in an e-mail if we could have sex if he comes to America again. I sent him a italian phrase"non mi prendi in giro"
dont mess me around
it doesnt quite translate, but he has never written me back. I dunno what to say. he is a friend, and some friends are just not lovers.
they still talk about that pimp and hoe party on Kauai, as the best party ever
yeah it was

[Ann Bingham]

one hell of a story Soul. So never a lover and no longer a friend. Yeah men; sometimes they are so shallow. Or perhaps so hurt it is better to just leave. Just thoughts.

[mousey1]

All's well that ends well...

but it's so often about the gettin' there.

I enjoyed gettin' there with you...a great read.