Cigarette Cantos

[Lightning Rod]

Cigarette Cantos
#1

good cigarettes go out
when forgotten idle
when left to die

cheap cigarettes keep burning
they go away when parked in the tray
no attention necessary

a good cigarette bears re-ignition
like a good book can be re-read
but then, who wants to re-light
a cheap cigarette anyway
it's best that they smolder
on their own saltpetre
to an ash with a perfect shape

#2

Some call them coffin nails
but coughin' is necessary
it clears the lungs

I call them pitons
when you are a mountain climber
they help you scale
the cold sheer face of reality

#3

filters are like fucking on top of a tampon
cotton condoms
raincoats in the shower

If you don't believe in it, don't do it
else it will kill you
like anything else
If you don't believe in what you do
what you do will kill you

[westcoast]

kool, LR


i smoke when i'm in San Fran
otherwise nada

but i make an exception for this poem

got a light?

~menthol westie

[Lightning Rod]

damn westie, that was going to be my next canto---menthol cigarettes

Newport was my first brand, but I soon hit the harder stuff
everybody said they'd stand beside me when the getting got rough
oops, I'm lapsing into my Dylan mode

[westcoast]

LOL

[constantine]

menthol westie lives in the house of kool
i started with newports too.

[Doreen Peri]

When I play scrabble online there's a guy who apparently only has one line. In the lobby (a spot where people talk while they're playing) he says to everyone, "Hi fill-in-the-blank-name. Have a portofino. *leaning over to light your portofino."

This gets really old after a while. You're trying to concentrate on a game and the lobby chat keeps moving on the left of the screen as the guy lights cigar after cigar for people who enter the room.

We've asked him repeatedly if he could kindly quit lighting cigars so we could play the game without the distraction of the lobby chat scrolling constantly. He answers us by lighting another cigar.

Now, when I see him in the room lighting virtual cigars, I (and others) just type

"COUGH"

in the lobby chat window.

And sometimes "I'm allergic to smoke"

and sometimes, "This is a non-smoking establishment"

Of course, he doesn't care what we say. He continues handing out virtual portofinos and lightning them for the scrabble players. And the lobby chat still scrolls on the left hand side of the screen while trying to figure out your best move. It's annoying as hell.

Luckily the webmaster put an option to stop viewing the lobby chat while playing and every time he arrives with his big pile of portofinos, I block the lobby chat.... after I "COUGH."

.....

I'm still trying to stop smoking. I'm not very successful with it. But I have a supply of Chantix now and I saw an ad on TV about new flavors for nicorette gum. I need to research to find out if it's safe to do the two together.

....

It's a very difficult habit to break. I think the only way to do it successfully is just to totally stop...... cold turkey. No more.

Swimming should help. This week I'll be starting my swimming again. 30 laps 3-4 times a week should be inspiring. Maybe I should do it every day instead.

....

I worry about you (and me, too, of course). I am afraid you will have a heart attack or stroke. You probably already have emphasema. I can't spell that but I know what it is.

.....

All that said, I'm not too fond of this poem.

No offense intended, of course. I just don't like themes that praise deadly substances and life-threatening habits. I feel the same when I read poems which glorify drug use or suicide.

.....

COUGH

[the mingo]

i liked the crazy rampant wisdom of #3...