limericks anyone?

[bennie2]

i knew a young girl from glasgow
who was sexy from her head to her toe
when she's clad all in black
those fishnets! and that mac!
man, I'll tell you, it's a hell of a show!

---

in the evening i took her to see
a film showing at the GFT
but i missed the plotline
because at curtain time
all she wanted was to suck it to see

--

so then we go back to my place
and she's kissing and licking my face
pulling at my shirt
she talked just like dirt
and hopped on my cock with such grace

---

the following day over tea
i asked if she would marry me
but she looked at her watch
and then down at my crotch
and said, "fuck it, I'll suck it and see"

[bennie2]

i better get in here before LR (the limerick king ) gets in first:

ten points deducted for this appalling show!

in the evening i took her to see
a film showing at the GFT
but i missed the plotline
because at curtain time
all she wanted was to suck it to see

that's just poor!

[Doreen Peri]

wrote these a while back during a limerick writing day at litkicks if i remember correctly...

.............

A Poet i know who's named Lightning
wrote limericks which were quite frightning.
One syllable more
or one less needed for
the structure of this type of writing.

Of course, i'm no Limerick Master.
However, I do write them faster.
But I must admit
that mine simply are shit.
They're no good. They're a total disaster..

Perhaps I should write some haiku.
If I did, that would be nothing new.
But I've much more to say
than I'm able that way,
so these limericks will have to do.

This syllable counting is crazy!
I'd rather not do it! I'm lazy!
The meter and rythmn
has me in a schism!
My pen's on a roll! My head's hazy!

I'm in Limerick Hell, purgatory
and it's Lightning Rod's fault! (That's my story!)
He started this mess
as if some kind of test!
All who played should take swift inventory!

I can come to no other conclusion.
ALL poetry is but illusion.
Sestina or sonnet,
it all makes me vomit.
Most poets are lost in delusion.

But Limerick writing is futile!
We must all be out of our noodle!
It's a weak exercise
for those most unwise!
I've just wasted an hour! How brutal!

[bennie2]

counting syllables is a waste of time
in fact you could call it a crime
but the fact of the matter
is the madder the hatter
the better the limerick rhyme

that was a well written thing doreen. I'd expect nothing less from a Dr Seuss fan.

[emel.scott]

during my forced hiatus from S8 (and my unforced hiatus from inspiration) the last few weeks I have been amusing myself writing limericks, (it all started with that fucking kiwi of dinos) so lucky you! here are a few:

They buried a yenta name Kay
in an unmarked but occupied grave.
So now she's repose
with a gossip named Rose
and they dish the dirt all through the day.

Well my wife use to make brownies sans
all the nuts that would thrill me no end.
And though pretty damn sexy,
now my spouse is my exy.
'Cause she wouldn't mix in those pecans.

The abyss is just over this line
come jump in cause the water is fine.
Oh, it boils a lot
and will freeze at the drop
but we're dead so we pay it no mind.

A round peg tried to fit a square hole
but the straight edge got caught on its roll.
So it went to a sawer
who cut angles galorer,
which achieved its long sought after goal.

I knew an old Asian named Foy
ate his boogers since he was a boy.
He'd liked the green guys
not too wet or dry,
mixed up with some white rice and soy...
...Conversely, I knew this 'ol dude
who cooked up his boogs' in a stew.
He'd throw in some toe jam,
some dandruff and serve them
in big bowls to me and to you.

I'm Jewish so I know some Weiners,
some Cohens, some Goldbergs and Steiners.
And one who was quick
to have her nose fixed
so the damn thing would not trail behind her.

ta daa

[SmileGRL]

cute...all of 'em