My second dada pome

[Nazz]

the river, backlit savior.
eyes are like cracked halos.
halo is space junk, vicious streak.
read Revelation 2 on a killer screw.
the dial is spinning, rocks are spinning.
goans are streaking, stringy liquid black.
he does time-space, pays his debt, no fuel.
he mixes graviton cocktails, writes scripture.

[saw]

hip and mystical....unsure of message, but that's not a downside ....
feels like big bang vs. creation kinda poem......

[Nazz]

hmm, spacey... you're right, saw. this one's a bit of a mess...
kind of like a 'Jesus-and-Hawking-get-kicked-outta-the-space-shuttle' sort of affair.

[stilltrucking]

it could be ma ma
a Post-Patriarchal kind of da da

don't mind me nazz, I been off my meds again.

[mnaz]

Well Jack, don't mind me either. (Maybe) I was drinking. I like that killer screw bit though, and 'goans' are black holes, apparently (love that one!), though gravitons in any sort of liquid form are just wrong... or are they?

[hester_prynne]

"eyes are like cracked halos. "
This line is especially brilliant.
nice crisp read...
H

[constantine]

yeah, i'm inclined to agree. i think it's spacey and crisp - space crispies! stays crunchy even in inter-dimensional flux.