chronic

Post your poetry, any style.
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Perdida
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Location: Sydney, Australia
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chronic

Post by Perdida » September 29th, 2007, 8:24 pm

chronic, you are
like an itch in the throat
where i am looped
and swum through
like sea-water
which has loosened
itself

where i am only
temporary

without a word
like exhausted fruit

assaulted

with the non-happenings
you deliver everyday
like galloping horses

like furious waves
at twilight
to mock my suffering

you are
my soured wine

i am full of you
and vomit
this yellowed heart


©09t07

The path to true love isn't always straight.
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stilltrucking
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Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas

Post by stilltrucking » September 29th, 2007, 8:37 pm

purged like nietzsche

thank you

Totenkopf

Post by Totenkopf » September 29th, 2007, 11:33 pm

Interesting images, and similes especially.

by "Chronic" do you mean cannabis? some of us not fluent in gangstaspeak


(though anti-simile and anti-metaphorical
verse can work sometimes tooo)

your poesy is quite

love ly

on occasion

(if a bit formless)

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Perdida
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Location: Sydney, Australia
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Post by Perdida » September 30th, 2007, 5:20 pm

Thank you Stilltrucking for reading, I appreciate your comment :D

Tote, no, no gangstaspeak here, far from it. Thanks for your input, I will keep it in mind. Oh, and for the love ly. *grin*
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joel
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Post by joel » September 30th, 2007, 11:10 pm

Perdida...

me cae bien como siempre a ser perdido en tus versos...en tus imagenes del mar y del agua...como vives en un pais que se manifiesta como una isla tambien....bellisima.
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

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Perdida
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Post by Perdida » October 4th, 2007, 4:27 pm

Joel, Gracias *smile*

m :D
The path to true love isn't always straight.
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