on the eve of the move

[joel]

just found out i'm moving tomorrow...tomorrow. i didn't expect it to come so soon, but i'm not surprised either. but how do i go to bed one last time in the house that has been my childhood home? a rite of passage i didn't expect to be so difficult to face....


O emptying house, I’ve never asked to stay—
yet leaving learn I’m scared to move away.


Your womb expanded certainly and stretched
its borders markedly; and I have found
your scars more delicate than smoother skin,
your saggy heaves of heaviness more sweet
than higher pitches’ tighter giggles. You
who never turned me out, who’ve nurtured me
so many moments—now it’s time I leave
you, now is birth—and yes, I surely grieve
my loss of sanctuary. Quietly
I cry and tenderly I cry in lieu
of laughter at our parting, but you meet
me at my natal tragedy—and in
the steps I take away from you, you ground
me in a love wherein my soul’s been etched.