Dirty Limerick jam

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e_dog
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Dirty Limerick jam

Post by e_dog » December 5th, 2007, 2:36 am

Her pelvis was writhing with glee
All while she sat on his knee.
He said "Ah due say,
That sure is a way
To Spend a nice afternoon tea."
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.

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e_dog
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Post by e_dog » December 5th, 2007, 2:39 am

There once was a dame from Provence
She sure loved to holler and dance. (pronounced "dahns")
Have a good time
Just give 'er a dime.
Then she'll even take off her pants. ("pahns")
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.

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e_dog
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Post by e_dog » December 5th, 2007, 2:45 am

I saw an old maid from Desmoine.
Oh, the things she'd do for a coin!
A dime for a dance
For two without pants
For a quarter she play'd with her groin!

(Okay, YOU try 'n' write a lymerick with "Desmoine"!)
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.

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joel
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Post by joel » December 5th, 2007, 1:40 pm

A fruity young lass from Desmoine
transgendered a pass to conjoin
her dick to a cunt
as a sass-sounding grunt
growled: eat out the fruit of my loin.
"Every genuinely religious person is a heretic, and therefore a revolutionary" -- GBShaw

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Arcadia
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Post by Arcadia » December 5th, 2007, 2:03 pm

(I confess I only read Zooloco limericks before... :shock: )

I heard a bully southern folk
to say: hey, all things must rock
invisible trousers,
friendly bulldozers
he forgot the lyrics at the top

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e_dog
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Post by e_dog » December 17th, 2007, 10:24 pm

There was a gal named Condoleeza.
Everyone said she was a skeeza.
But she did her duty
While shakin' her booty
Oh, but boy was she a teaser!

There was a gal Condoleeza.
Took less than a minute to please her.
She pulled Dick's Cheney
And Ayatollah Khomeini,
Bush I, and the singer from Weezer.


{No doubt, Condi Rice has found herself in many a limerick, but could this not be a first ever for the Ayotollah?}
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.

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the flaming ace
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Post by the flaming ace » December 18th, 2007, 12:46 pm

there was an old man on Viagra
he went to trolling at Niagra
They cut off his Balls
and he fell in the Falls
you could hear his scream over in Caniada!
[b][color=darkgreen]one more for th road[/color][/b] :mrgreen:

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e_dog
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Post by e_dog » December 19th, 2007, 4:45 am

There was a lad nam'd Huckabee
if you was Repub. he'd be fuckin' thee
he'll smoke marijaney
until he's insan'y
and, then, try and suck a tree.
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.

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hester_prynne
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Post by hester_prynne » December 19th, 2007, 4:57 am

touche` and too fuckin funny!!!!!!!!!

Hillary, William and George,
in a mighty race to glory did forge,
in the fight to be winners
they all became sinners,
I say give them all waterboards!

(I'm terrible at this...)
H
"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW

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e_dog
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Post by e_dog » December 19th, 2007, 5:16 am

thats good. but whos William? Bill Clinton


?
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.

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e_dog
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Post by e_dog » December 19th, 2007, 5:18 am

There was a senator named Dodd
All his fellows thought him a bit odd.
Because o' the games he would play
With a sadistic manner and way
using everything and a cattle prod.

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » December 19th, 2007, 8:48 am

there was a closet Clinton supporter
who worked in the Latin Quarter
all day long he would say
Viva Cinton Olay
and at night he'd dream and ca·vort her!
Last edited by jimboloco on December 19th, 2007, 9:42 am, edited 2 times in total.
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » December 19th, 2007, 8:58 am

there was a young pastor from the northeast
he was a rapturous unholy beast
but he tamed his pride when he went for a ride
with the widow of a recently deceased

as he stood at the gates of hell
the deceased looked up at the heavenly hill
he repented his sins and was born again
as th babe of th mournful pell mell

they named their new girl Abigail
because she had stared into Hell
this was not known to them until she turned ten
when she told them she was really a male.

they all began to pray
for thhis was a wonderful day
they got him-her some pants
and (s)he began to dance
to the tunes of a miricle play
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » December 19th, 2007, 11:14 am

there was a lady named hester
she was a busty northwester
all the men they got lusty
when they saw hester's busty
but she forbade them to ever molest her
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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hester_prynne
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Post by hester_prynne » December 19th, 2007, 2:58 pm

Hah!!!!!
Especially that last one, about hester.
I smell a pulitzer!
:D
H 8)
"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW

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