there has been somuch lately that I knew of nothingand about which I became informed
i slept on the chest of a man whose heart is wide open, loves me and works so very hard. The money just does not cover the bills.Yesterday I was sitting in a place called "human solutions" and I had gas, electric and water bills all in shut off notice formatt.They helped me. they paid my bills for me. I explained I used to work with disturbed adolescents but I got fired on Dec 5th, 2007. then came christmas of which I was broke but able to give of myself.I wonder if maybe that was what was the most important gift.
I can remember a time when I was alot more ambitous and maybe a little selfish and self centered, This man that was sitting next to me, told me he had burned everything to keep his children warm, took a chainsaw to the swing set, tree house everything.His idea of what to do if mother earth does a shakedown is to run to his grandmothers land. Next to him was a lady that was bragging about being able to can and hunt and fish and blah blah blah.
I decided that I should just be quiet.there has only been one other time that I had been saved by a non-profit and when I got some money I paid them back and said "for the next person, thank you so much"
truth is I have no real idea about how to surrvive,although I moment to moment look for answers in a world that is often very confusing.My cats and my wolf and my bearded dragon all look to me to care for them. As well as the oscar fish.the three snakes too.Today my chore is to secretly dump a small garbage can of cat poop in a dumpster somewhere, and to find sand for my bearded lizzie that isnt twenty dollars. I was thinking sand cat liter at wal mart.I did not know you were suposed to give them baths, lizzie I mean. she eats alot of crickets. It is still dark and icy outside and I have been sick for what seems like a long time. the doctor wants me to call for test results. that just does not sound good at all.One of my job leads is the YWCA in Portland. I know when women get out of prison that they give thm like 12 dollars and send them to the ywca. I have failed to understand our system. Or my politics just cannot support it. They are planning to build an 8 millon dollar facility for lock down children in foster care etc.Are the parents like me? looking for a job, unable to pay the light bills or gas bill so the state takes thier children away? Please someone out there has got to pay more attention to what is happening to the younger generation. the insanity of locking them up and doing the take away program{privledges} never worked on anyone. so if the kid wont do it their way they drug them into passive teenagers that are depressed because they are in there!!!!!! duh
so here I go with my fat degree to look for a job.I was out one day and it seemed like the best junk was free on the sidewalk and my friends father said"i saw you lookng at that and trying to figure out how to fit it in your car"
i said "yep that I was" smile
i just am a scavenger. I saw an artist make a stained glass shopping cart, as for some, finding stuff like that is an income. it must have been left here by God for me
i do not know really, but my friends father posed next a shopping cart which I failed to see the humor of that. Does it matter that all of us are essentially homeless since the bank can take your shit, or the IRS can come up with a story that seems somewhat believeable to the state. No wonder sometimes I want to die.what is it that makes someone push thier life around in a shopping cart, sleeping in doorways and walking endlessly. the human will, the desire to survive is strange.
Our dollars are not even worth shit in this globalization game. food stamps anyone?
yes it has come to this for many populations all over the world, "the money never reach master"all of us are servants, just who exactly is the Master?
