head

[creativesoul]

wrapped around each other like the bow
he is the arrow
this morning i awake with a desire to just lay back down
I slept to listen to the answering machine, and i have an interview on monday- i want to work. I am still sending out applications and letters, resumes.i went to school it seems like forever, and I have to be broken like a wild horse, being taught about saddles and reins, and trying not to buck the system.
I want to help people. I am just not sure when or where. My headache is consistant with the medication they give me for it- which some people think is fun.It is fun the first time and after that you wonder if you can function, drive a car, wear high heels.i know that my pain is less than others, but to deny that I have any at all is what I am best at- i love to pretend. I am so tired of being unable to be honest with myself. friends have fallen away because they do not have brain injury and they are afraid. It is really ok- i get it. At each job I get I am gifted another piece of information, I feel like I am looking for the right fit.My head and my left ear hurt.I still do laundry, clean the kitchen- just barely crawling thru the day.But it is beautiful, I saw the sun come up. gasping at the coffee and smoke I just had to lay down and sweat and cough. I wonder if my dreams have already come true and that death is gaurding me, my life has the sense of beginnings middles and ends. i have lost sight of the chapter I am in. the words stream endlessly from my head, wiping away tears and stories that have little or no signifigance now, except to me.
owning a head is really fine but this oone came with no instructions, batteries not included.There is a part of me waiting in line at wal mart for batteries on sale. I cannot resist buy one get one free at safeway. gasoline is becoming an obsession. Hilary and Obama, for get Mcain . he is another burning bush. hush now sweet love of mine we are going to be fine just fine

[Cenacle]

It's such a long life, and that if you're lucky. Hang in there, some of the hours you know will be blood suckers, some won't, some will shine with impossibly beautiful light. Hang in there.

[stilltrucking]

old age is not for sissies
even so
longevity is a blessing

When I was still a kid in my forties I used to have an appleII computer it was such a magical thing. I called it my thaumaturgical type writer. I used to pop the top off and look in at its inner workings and marvel. And I remember wishing I could pop the hood on my skull and see what was going on in there.