giving birth
Posted: December 2nd, 2004, 3:06 am
This place is an embryo.
It has no father, no mother to claim,
It has nothing but a name and yet, I get
water-weight swells in ankles
which dare to stand up to the wait.
It takes months from the concept –
a gleam in the eye – to conceive
a mere infant, unable to speak,
unable to walk; only able to
grasp.
I am in pain from the suffering
of a miracle, yet contemplate the abortion
I wish I executed months ago.
It doesn't take long for a child to claim
presence. Gifts are like that.
I am but a purveyor of nutrition given
freely from the blood which resides here,
an umbilical chord striking a familiar
scale in an attempt to make harmony
happen but everything is going too slow
and I am writing verses to windsongs.
Along the way, I save a few.
The only thing I can do
is continue the pregnancy.
This place is a manger.
I found room here with animals and I have
no choice now but to lie down with the child
once the labor's done, raise the damn beast,
wait for it to rise up against me like god himself,
then die to its own flesh with a threat to
rise again.
Aw hell.
That's only speculation.
Myth.
No human being could resist
the prospect of an infant, freshflesh
scents on skins of remembrances
I walk the floor parsing the combination
of sperm and seed, word-dna, paintspray
designs – and I am inclined to believe
in creation despite
my wish that I never met the
maker of desire.
Thank you for a place to
lay my head.
It has no father, no mother to claim,
It has nothing but a name and yet, I get
water-weight swells in ankles
which dare to stand up to the wait.
It takes months from the concept –
a gleam in the eye – to conceive
a mere infant, unable to speak,
unable to walk; only able to
grasp.
I am in pain from the suffering
of a miracle, yet contemplate the abortion
I wish I executed months ago.
It doesn't take long for a child to claim
presence. Gifts are like that.
I am but a purveyor of nutrition given
freely from the blood which resides here,
an umbilical chord striking a familiar
scale in an attempt to make harmony
happen but everything is going too slow
and I am writing verses to windsongs.
Along the way, I save a few.
The only thing I can do
is continue the pregnancy.
This place is a manger.
I found room here with animals and I have
no choice now but to lie down with the child
once the labor's done, raise the damn beast,
wait for it to rise up against me like god himself,
then die to its own flesh with a threat to
rise again.
Aw hell.
That's only speculation.
Myth.
No human being could resist
the prospect of an infant, freshflesh
scents on skins of remembrances
I walk the floor parsing the combination
of sperm and seed, word-dna, paintspray
designs – and I am inclined to believe
in creation despite
my wish that I never met the
maker of desire.
Thank you for a place to
lay my head.