Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

if I could grow a beard, it would be a cumulous cloud
but I have too much Indian blood for that
I'm an apache in rapture
a renegade who needs no razor

in short, my beard is an embarrassment
just a goat with cheeks smooth as a lady
my last can of shaving cream lasted two years
I was fifteen before I could grow hair on my balls
and it was fuzzy

I had three hairs on my chest one time
I think it was a hormonal imbalance
in politics or life, you need good hair
and I'm The Naked Ape

i'll stand up
i'll confess
...
my eyebrows are going bald
there, it's been said
...
female pattern eyebrow baldness
if it exists, i'll blush my newest label
...
i didn't know
i swear i didn't tweeze too much
oops....
groucho marx, where are you when i need you?

I wish I could grow a proper (symmetrical) beard...
The left side flourishes, but the right languishes for some reason...
(and no, that's not a metaphor).