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stargazer
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:22 pm
by westcoast
We lay on the bed beneath the ceiling's florescent stars
a slow smoke shared between us
Czeslaw’s deep Krakow brow crinkled in thought
“Do you think they know we are here?”
I blow a smoke ring out into the night
target my gaze through it
“Who? The children? They’re asleep.”
We turn toward each other our faces close
Czeslaw takes the cigarette from my hand
stubs it out in the ashtray on the nightstand
“No, them,” he points his chin toward the unexplored
galaxies and suns and moons stuck above us
and the bed starts to quake from our laughter
“Shhhh, you’ll wake the kids!”
.
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:23 pm
by westcoast
some of you have seen this one already at AC... however, for those who haven't ... ta da!
i've been told by some it's not a poem...i don't really care what it is, i enjoyed writing it.
~westie
....
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:30 pm
by YABYUM
i like this. reminds me of certain silly things we laugh about with our lover in those great moments when we're both completely off gaurd and totally vunerable.
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:32 pm
by westcoast
thank you! yes, i was recalling the sweet fun of times past...
~westie
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:40 pm
by Doreen Peri
It's definitely a poem. Whoever said it wasn't, doesn't know what he or she's talking about.
I like it a lot, westie!
It's a mood. It's a glimpse. It's a photograph of a moment.
Very nice!
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:43 pm
by westcoast
hey! thanks doreen
i've been feeling sentimental... it makes for interesting poetries.
~westie
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:51 pm
by constantine
that kills me when people make proclamations of what is or isn't poetry. this is expression - pure and simple , regardless of form. if it can be defined then i would move on to something else. delightful work westy!
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:54 pm
by westcoast
thank you, constantine ! very much appreciated
~westie
...
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 3:57 pm
by YABYUM
constantine....EXACTLY! Expressions in written form are just that. Like it or dont like it. dont try to define what you didnt write. Hell, I cant even define what I write most of the time.
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 4:06 pm
by Lightning Rod
you know what it takes to make it a poem doncha?
It's if you CALL it a poem
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 4:17 pm
by westcoast
LRod - yeah

i read a large variety of "poetry" and it seemed to me it fit within the broad genre. but ya know, if it's a new creation, then hallelujah!
regardless, i'm breaking a bottle of champagne over the sucka and pouring us all a drink
you folks rock.
~westie
Posted: April 23rd, 2008, 8:04 pm
by hester_prynne
It's a grand poem....grand and real.
I mean who doesn't look out the window at night sometimes and wonder that! Glad to see it written! Put out there. It's very sweet indeed!
H
