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Confined

Posted: May 22nd, 2008, 5:43 pm
by GinnyKay
CONFINED
(Hybridanelle)


Steel bars, obstruct views
Influence smothers any intellect
Blue, black - prisoner's tattoos

A petty, lumpy cot 'gainst the concrete wall
Evidence only in numbers, letters
A sheet, one blanket, ceiling so low

Quiet is still, deafening
Only jingle of custodial keys
Steel bars obstruct views

Rigid body, inwardly cowers
Protecting against razors, blades
Evidenced only by number, letters

Body, feared to breathe
suffocates in fear
Blue, black - prisoner's tattoos

My life's end, what have I done?
This, my future, dismal, bleak
Protecting against razors, blades

Intuitive senses
as light sinks to blackness
Steel bars obstruct views

Sweat, tears, intermingle
Repressed, not a sound
This, my future, dismal, bleak

Impossible sleep, vigilant body
Eyes focus into the obscure
Blue, black - prisoner's tattoos

Mind of fear
Jingle of custodial keys
Steel bars obstruct the views
Blue, black - prisoner's tattoos

Rats, roaches, linger near
A petty, lumpy cot 'gainst the concrete wall
Hovered beneath the cover, I pray
A sheet, one blanket, ceiling so low

Posted: May 22nd, 2008, 5:49 pm
by Lightning Rod
this is bleak and evocative, GK
and sadly, too familiar
I never got tattoos
good writing

Posted: May 22nd, 2008, 6:51 pm
by Arcadia
it can be the "poem of the day" here...!

thanks for posting it!!!

Posted: May 22nd, 2008, 6:52 pm
by Doreen Peri
Cool poem. Nice job.

I'm not familiar with the hybridanelle form.

Trying to find a pattern to it.

Can you describe the form so I can figure it out?

Thanks much!

(did a google search but still can't find a definition of the structure)

Posted: May 22nd, 2008, 10:43 pm
by westcoast
strong write, GinnyKay. it's always cool to learn about new poetic forms

:)

cheers,
~westie

Posted: May 22nd, 2008, 11:45 pm
by Doreen Peri
some comments to this thread were moved to a new thread to discuss Poetic Forms.... We didn't mean to hijack GinnyKay's thread so I moved the discussion.

Sorry to interrupt!

:)