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My second dada pome
Posted: September 17th, 2008, 3:33 am
by Nazz
the river, backlit savior.
eyes are like cracked halos.
halo is space junk, vicious streak.
read Revelation 2 on a killer screw.
the dial is spinning, rocks are spinning.
goans are streaking, stringy liquid black.
he does time-space, pays his debt, no fuel.
he mixes graviton cocktails, writes scripture.
Posted: September 17th, 2008, 8:15 am
by saw
hip and mystical....unsure of message, but that's not a downside ....
feels like big bang vs. creation kinda poem......
Posted: September 17th, 2008, 8:47 am
by Nazz
hmm, spacey... you're right, saw. this one's a bit of a mess...
kind of like a 'Jesus-and-Hawking-get-kicked-outta-the-space-shuttle' sort of affair.
Posted: September 18th, 2008, 6:48 am
by stilltrucking
it could be ma ma
a Post-Patriarchal kind of da da
don't mind me nazz, I been off my meds again.
Posted: September 19th, 2008, 4:07 am
by mnaz
Well Jack, don't mind me either. (Maybe) I was drinking. I like that killer screw bit though, and 'goans' are black holes, apparently (love that one!), though gravitons in any sort of liquid form are just wrong... or are they?
Posted: September 19th, 2008, 11:48 am
by hester_prynne
"eyes are like cracked halos. "
This line is especially brilliant.
nice crisp read...
H
Posted: September 19th, 2008, 6:12 pm
by constantine
yeah, i'm inclined to agree. i think it's spacey and crisp - space crispies! stays crunchy even in inter-dimensional flux.