Horny Toads
Posted: October 4th, 2008, 1:54 pm
we called them horny toads
the textbooks said 'horned toads'
and they weren't toads at all but lizards
as a kid I hunted them for fun and profit
the laboratory would pay a nickel apiece
and they were plentiful and easy to catch
I loved horny toads
beautiful in their alien ugliness
formidable as horizontal devils
they didn't bite or sting but
it's no myth that they spit blood
I thought it was a myth
until one day
I was hunting them among prickly pears
wearing a white t-shirt
I reached down to grab the little critter
and there was a red spray
my shirt was painted with blood
horny toads don't really spit blood
there are ducts in the corners of their eyes
they cry blood, it's a defense mechanism
I love those bloody horny toads
the textbooks said 'horned toads'
and they weren't toads at all but lizards
as a kid I hunted them for fun and profit
the laboratory would pay a nickel apiece
and they were plentiful and easy to catch
I loved horny toads
beautiful in their alien ugliness
formidable as horizontal devils
they didn't bite or sting but
it's no myth that they spit blood
I thought it was a myth
until one day
I was hunting them among prickly pears
wearing a white t-shirt
I reached down to grab the little critter
and there was a red spray
my shirt was painted with blood
horny toads don't really spit blood
there are ducts in the corners of their eyes
they cry blood, it's a defense mechanism
I love those bloody horny toads