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Happy Anti-versary
Posted: November 30th, 2008, 5:34 pm
by Lightning Rod
Happy Anti-versary
It's been a year today
since we were together
I wish I could say I didn't miss you
that my heart is light as a feather
in the mansion of my soul
your room sits empty but ready
it waits for you and the bed
is turned down like the tip of your nose
I go there to take my repose
to ponder what we lost and what we chose
in the vase a single yellow rose
I keep it fresh for you
Posted: December 1st, 2008, 7:45 am
by Doreen Peri
simply beautifully sad, endearing, and touching
Posted: December 1st, 2008, 11:57 am
by silent woman
Happy anti-v day
compadre
That is one fire I would love to pour gasoline on for you if I could
A Lovely
lovely
poem
Posted: December 1st, 2008, 12:04 pm
by mtmynd
An extremely personal piece that is quite unlike you, eLRod. How 60 has brought the touch of caring to your soul. I'm impressed... continue forward...
Posted: December 1st, 2008, 12:58 pm
by Lightning Rod
I know cec, sentimental poetry is not my usual genre
but on special occasions, I get weak
thank you all for reading my personal parts
Posted: December 1st, 2008, 5:31 pm
by bennie2
this is beautiful, lr.
Posted: December 1st, 2008, 7:58 pm
by K&D
yeah i thought this was one of your best pieces....
consious (hardest word ever to spell) and it flowed.
visual and personal...you ever find that people who write about actual events or you know more personal poery seem to be so caught in telling a story that they forget to evoke visuals?
I try really hard not to do that, and I liked this poem because it had a visual space, i mean with the room and such. I could see it, vs. you just saying "this is how i feel" blah blah blah.
cool.
Posted: December 1st, 2008, 8:10 pm
by Lightning Rod
thank you bennie
I don't get 'beautiful' much
mostly clever, funny, wicked, insightful etc
intellectual stuff
sometimes I neglect the heartfelt portion
alyson,
you saw the essence of the poem
and also demonstrated an understanding of the first rule of effective writing:
"don't tell them how you feel (yada yada) but make them feel it or see it or smell it."
Posted: December 2nd, 2008, 4:53 pm
by SmileGRL
in the mansion of my soul
your room sits empty but ready
it waits for you and the bed
is turned down like the tip of your nose
i love this verse. you write sentimental well LRod