Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

poverty has brought me to my knees. The man I love told me this evening I should have stayed married to my x-husband because I suggested that he bring food home. He immediately suggests whenever I suggest that his money be shared more fairly, he says things like that. When ever he does not like what I have to say he puts earplugs in. I think he is rude, and not invested in this relationship at all, oh I know he loves me, he texts me that he does, from work where he works very hard.His whole identity is about working there.All his clothing have the company logo on it, and he is alot like a commercial for the company product that he will demonstrate to a perfect stranger anywhere anytime, regaudless of what is going on between us when a stranger will pass, and I will once again be subject to a "demo" of the product.
I think that they are well made and interesting, but not as interesting as spirituality, deep and intricate conversation, and intimacy with other people.Surely we are quite different in our approach to living. The fact is I do not consider the way we live anything like the way I live and have lived for many years.I feel so many things about this relationship that preturb me.
I feel like I bought a product where the warrinty has run out, and it needs a little work, an oil change, new leather seats, and regestration tags.
Nothing makes sense
for someone that claims they do not want to fight, he is extremely combative and hostile towards me. For the last eight weeks I have been getting off anti- depressants, I made a terrible mistake and trusted a shrink who used me as a lab rat, until I became a symptom. Everything that the medication was supposed to assist, or change became amplified. The killer drug was seroquel. Apparently I was slurring my words and all over the place. I heard that from people in AA NA my sponsor, my friends and last but not least my husband.
The first thing I got off was the seroquel, that was four days of hell, I could not stop crying. I called the medicine man and crying asked him to pray for me. He did. It was a spiritual experience.I have a wolf that is nine years old, she has been with me through thick and thin, helped me to walk through alot of fears.I went through this healing and went outsie and brushed her.She is beautiful.
I have disabilities. ADHD I have had it all my life but did not find out until three years ago.one day I started sining a song about that

please Mr do not take my integrity
all I hear you saying to me
is that if I do as you say
that I will lose my sense of security
Diabilities can set you up
to get lost and feel like a lost little pup
one thing that matters to me
is that i walk with dignity
I do not want to have to steal meat
because I cannot afford to eat
If you have ever spent any time
with someone that has ADHD
you will see the spirituality
these experiences are quite sweet
only the lonely can hear the chimes
the wind the birds, the salt, the lime
kiss me now
I feel weak
Help me to not feel like a freak
Money is for the miserly
when they fall I bet they do not know
anybody
friendly are those with disabilities
been there done that, i no longer freeze
when someone somewhere feels ill at ease
I know how to sooth to pray to wait
for all the side effects to equate
identification, realization, clarity
all can be found with one who has a disability
empathy, sympathy, and sweet kindness
thias why I like them best

nice rant, life goes on (if we notice it or not! ). I´m not in your shoes, but gracias for share it, creativesoul!!!!!!!