Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

the second beyond

realities synthesized
moralities duressed
elaborately comprised
as a role perplexed

illogically criticized
redundantly assessed
contagiously surprized
(a voice is chastized)
in the echo redressed

ecstasies compromised
inequities confessed
emphatically derived
of the rogue impressed

insatiably recognized
symbolically adressed
unconceivably emprised
(a truth is excised)
from an evil unblessed

obscurities idolized
complexities professed
subjectively revised
of a goal repressed

relativities eternalized
infinities caressed
prophetically desguised
(a choice is advised)
from an angel transgressed

probabilities characterized;
arrived connectively appeased
paralized congruities implied

moralities rationalized;
awry, consequently pleased
inscribed equalities aside

diversities mesmerized;
occupied, ornamentally teased
memorized tranquillities preside

consistancies fractionalized;
defied, opportunity seized
(crucified alive, yet survived)
capsized humilities revived


wgs '09

It just occurred to me, the difference between defied and deified was small and everything at the same time. Whoa dude, I'm suspicious of that Zen stuff.

this is a good example of how some poets fall into the habit of emasculating their verbs by turning them to adjectives or adverbs and using them in a passive voice. I can appreciate how you carried the conceit from start to finish but why do you want to castrate your verbs? It makes them lie on the page one dimensional with no possibility of something happening that will involve the reader.

well....what?

This is a cryptic account of
some of my real world, and
there is sad bit of lust in it.

As for grammar and usage
of verbs and ad-ver....whatever
you call it, don't really care...
it's wide open for a reader to
interpret, which I know will
be different for each reader,
possible different at each read.
It may provoke inspiration...
because, this piece is copied,
(in style only), from an old poem
that I found in an old book, in an
old prison library many years ago.
The poem was noted, "author unknown",
and I'd really like to know who wrote
this one.....

beyond

fantasies realized
insecurities suppressed
irratically devised
of a soul possessed

intangibly tantalized
despondently obsessed
inevitably despised
(a void is surmised)
from an ego expressed

unknown

Besides that...if you notice,
no words are repeated, save
the little ones. I like to put
silly restraints in my poems
as some sort of exercise.

as in manna...
you can't tell as posted, but
each line is 21 character spaces
long. silly, I know, but in dealing
words, I don't mind cutting them
with ajax.

thanks LRod
thankx too, Nazz

I really liked your use of rhyme and rhythm and words that sound good together.

Enjoyed the piece, walt.

thanks doreen, I like to think that
less is more, but don't ask me to
prove it.........