Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

she was tore up from the floor up
hurtin' for certian
rode hard and put up wet
whatchu see is whatchu get

you could tell by her face
she was a real basket case
wondered if she needed
a shrink or a drink

but I knew she needed me
I knew she needed me
like Guinevere needs Lancelot
or Heloise needs Ableard
life can be very hard
I knew she needed me
in her times of extremity

she was a drowning cat
a kitten in the rain
a bruised nubile delinquent
an animal in pain

but she needed me
she needed me
that's why I needed her
because she needed me

yes I know she needed me
I know she needed me
like Juliette needs Romeo
all damsels need their Ivanhoe
life can be very hard
I know she needed me
in her times of extremity

she was tore up from the floor up
hurtin' for certian
rode hard and put up wet
whatchu see is whatchu get

but at least she needed me
I know she needed me
or I thought she did
I thought she did
I thought she needed me

you should rhyme more often

i like your rhyming pieces best

thank you doreen
I think rhythm is more important than rhyme as a poetic tool, but this is a song lyric and rhyme surely helps


'that which is too silly to be said can be sung' ---Voltaire

I like your lyrics.

Lyrical poetry is my fave.

You rhyme very well.

It works.

Even spoken not sung, it works.

And read, too.

"Do what you do well more often." - Doreen Peri

jinx, we cross posted here

thanks again

I love rhyme too. If I didn't I would be like a mechanic that can't stand the smell of motor oil. But like motor oil, rhyme should make the machine move smoothly and effortlessly. Forced rhyme always seems contrived and false.

But in songs, we have to deal with rhyme, rhythm and meter. If you miss it on any of them, the song will fail.

I agree we should all do what we do best. What I do best is think.

i didn't say i liked lousy forced contrived rhyme

and i wasn't talking about thinking

i was talking about writing

the reason why it works in poetry is the same reason why it works in songs

because poetry is music

I didn't say that you said what you didn't say
I was just thinking about talking before I thought
and then writing about what I thought you didn't say
it's only music after all

I know you understand