Did Never Should Do

Post your poetry, any style.
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Yejun
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Joined: December 22nd, 2007, 4:17 pm

Did Never Should Do

Post by Yejun » May 9th, 2009, 5:26 pm

Have you found someone else to curl up
Next to on an Osaka-bound Subway train?
Have you left the city for the country,
Or the country for a city, a town,
a village, a hut in Chiang Mai --
smoking opium with guitar-playing
emaciated Thai?
Have you died without an outcry
or hid from the tax collector --
Obdurate and insecure, or penniless,
Bahtless, wonless, enless?
Crawling to a final phone booth to call home,
Do you still think Alice Walker is good?
What do you do? Where do you live?
I should have married you but never did
And loved you, but I never did.

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » May 9th, 2009, 5:34 pm

excellent poem, brad

really loved it!

(spellcheck bathless endless ;))

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still.trucking
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Joined: May 9th, 2009, 12:56 am
Location: Oz or someplace like Kansas

Post by still.trucking » May 9th, 2009, 7:53 pm

I liked it a lot too.
"Natural selection, as it has operated in human history, favors not only the clever but the murderous." Barbara Ehrenreich

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hester_prynne
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Post by hester_prynne » May 9th, 2009, 10:45 pm

Downright brilliant!
H 8)
"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW

Yejun
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Joined: December 22nd, 2007, 4:17 pm

Post by Yejun » May 16th, 2009, 5:28 pm

Sorry for the delay.

Thanks to everybody for their kind comments.

While I suspect that Doreen already knows this, it occurs to me that others might not so here's a quick breakdown:

Baht--Thai money

Won--Korean money

En--Japanese money (the Y is dropped in Japanese)

Though of course I was hoping to trigger some of the associations that Doreen clearly sees.

Thanks again. It's been a rough couple of weeks.

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » May 16th, 2009, 5:56 pm

sighh.. didn't even think of it ... just thought they were typos

should have known better

all the years I've known you, i know you are meticulous with your poetry... you'd never post a misspelled word, I don't think

shoulda realized it was an intentional play on words

duh

now i like the poem even more!

Yejun
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Joined: December 22nd, 2007, 4:17 pm

Post by Yejun » May 16th, 2009, 7:06 pm

Sure I have.

Being "meticulous" also means, at least for me, dealing with a kind of tunnel vision. You get so caught up on one thing that you forget how it interacts with everything else.

I deal with it by knowing that I can always change it and, sure enough, I usually do--just not always right away. :D

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Arcadia
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Post by Arcadia » May 16th, 2009, 7:31 pm

yeah, the risk of having the answers from the beggining, I guess. Great poem! :D

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