this doesn't follow

[Doreen Peri]

1-

this doesn't follow
that doesn't follow
there are no puzzle
pieces that fit together,
the jigsaw cut askew
and you there trying
to fit your rounded tip
into some inverted trip
around the moon, upside
down like the milky way
ladled into a brand new
day the way a smooth
word drips its way off
the tongue of a slick con
man, and damn if there is
a way to say you've defied
me, you don't care, 'cause
there just are no right words
to express the test on a
spirit but i hear it, i hear
the wind chimes now, i sing
a morning harmony with
the vulture, each crow sitting
sideways row upon row on the
top of parallel wires, the entire
flock ticked off by the timing
of a swoop down to dive for
tossed away crumbs, each one
dumb enough to think he can
control the venture, hoping to
snatch a few up to use for
insulating a nest like puzzle
pieces fitted, and her breast,
the mamma, waiting for the
coming home of an orphaned
chirp

2.

and i remember fondly how
she pushed herself up with
her legs bowed, head turned
slightly up toward the right,
chin sort of suggesting a
question mark from the
point of cheekbone to eye

as if to say did i do it right?
did i? did i? do you accept
me now?

and just as the first step
was taken, a dawn awakened
with ruby robe and azure sash
light streaming in through a blind
slat, flatcakes ready to grill, a still
night never slept and now we
knew why as if we'd never known
anything at all ever before

[Arcadia]

[Nazz]

Once again, nice rhythm and wordplay. That 'morning harmony with the vulture' scene reinforces the darker mood, or undercurrent.

[Doreen Peri]

Arcadia -

Nazz - thanks very much. I wasn't sure whether it was accessible or not... wasn't sure whether it sounded like gibberish or whether the reader could glean some meaning from it. I'm hoping meanings come through.

[.Lucy.]

The meanings behind your words
individually hit us
with their own brand of sentiment.

For you to share
and for us to interpret.

[mtmynd]

there are not puzzle
pieces that fit together
does not fit for me...
after several readings
i keep tripping over that...

would not "they are not..."
be more fitting to the piece
or am i reading more than there?

[.Lucy.]

I kept tripping over that particular part too, but I believe it was intentionally placed there for us to fall flat on our faces. A poetic banana peel, if you will

[Doreen Peri]

thanks... typo

should read "there are no puzzle pieces that fit together"

will change it

[.Lucy.]

Aww, I liked it that way Gave the reader something to contemplate, its more than meets the eye and certainly something to chew on grammatically...

[Doreen Peri]

hehe... well... hopefully there's still more than meets the eye, Lucy

basically, it's pretty vague, no? you can make up your own meaning I guess

here's a hint... that's what i call her friends... vultures and crows... if she's not careful, they'll devour her

[.Lucy.]

Ah, there is always something more complex and intricate with your writing, Doreen. And yes, we the audience are able to injest what you offer and then take our own length of time in breaking down your writing, digest it properly...Some of us don't need metamucil to get the full scope of it

[SmileGRL]

doreen you are a master of wordplay. very smooth. i enjoyed reading this.

[Doreen Peri]

lucy and mj ... you honor me.. thanks much