Page 1 of 1
a ruin of stars
Posted: July 8th, 2009, 5:36 pm
by Perdida
i miss the blue-black of your eyes
how they hold me in silence
in deep-throated cry
wrapped up in small-talk
in the allegro
of your smile
what i would give
for no more than a day
for your sudden breath
your dark-lines secreted
trembling inside you
like things of the sky
like a raven made of night
and here i am –
a ruin of stars.
©MD070709/4211421
Posted: July 8th, 2009, 6:20 pm
by constantine
such a warm voice to your poetry. the like things of the sky line is real nice!
Posted: July 8th, 2009, 9:20 pm
by saw
fascinating title, i like the way you paint the picture, two people with a history, a lot of darkness in the blue-black, dark-lines, raven made of night, yet within that you make the reader see a spark.......first stanza is super......liked this one, perdida
Posted: July 8th, 2009, 9:21 pm
by stilltrucking
I read your poem
and I was very happy that I can still be moved
to mourn for someone other than myself
Posted: July 8th, 2009, 11:27 pm
by revolutionrabbit
...in the middle of nowhere, an abrupt opening
there...something...like.....a bit of sky...like a leaf
where the specks of light flutter...
like a heart waiting in the old crumpled temple.
flutes and violet violins once played here.
eyes gather tears in the dark..
holding them there, before they break lose...
watering the little blue-lotus.
Posted: July 8th, 2009, 11:33 pm
by mtmynd
from another man - damn fine piece of writing, perdida. i like blue-black eyes in print but would probably be uneasy if faced with them... wouldn't you? but the images popped and i like that in a pome.. or any anything, really.
tyvm.
Posted: July 9th, 2009, 1:03 pm
by SmileGRL
beautiful, maree. dark & sparkly all at once...like the part about sudden breath...it can be both a flutter of senses aNd an anchoring of the soul. you always write such graceful poems about such deep things.
Posted: July 13th, 2009, 11:47 pm
by K&D
Hear dat! *bump. (page bump, not like a hand bump, chest bump or sexual bump-not sure if those under 25 know what a bump is-just making sure there isn't any confusion)
more latter on your poem not vernacular.
Posted: July 17th, 2009, 1:38 pm
by .Lucy.
Ahh...yes...Perdida, you said such beautiful things here...
Posted: July 18th, 2009, 12:16 pm
by hester_prynne
This is so fantastic....big, small. Poetry that just is.
Enjoyed this so much.
H
Posted: July 20th, 2009, 10:41 am
by .Lucy.
Your poem still haunts me with its imagery and echo of sadness and loss...Beautiful poem
Posted: July 25th, 2009, 10:50 am
by Perdida
Hi everyone, I apologise for not getting to yhour replies sooner, have had a busy 10 days, Dad in hospital (he is ok) and painting..sighs.. but anyway thank you all for your kind replies. I always look forward to hearing your thoughts and your advice. Much appreciated.
HUGS all
m
Posted: July 26th, 2009, 10:52 am
by Arcadia
longing can fill all the places and at the same time left them empty, you draw that in a such beautiful way, maree!
great to know that your dad is ok!!!!. And painting? wow!!!!