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My Secret of Hide-Away

Posted: November 4th, 2009, 3:17 pm
by SadLuckDame
She was ripe for it--
"I'll kiss your lips
once, then twice or by the by.
Do you find it offensive?
I'll keep polite,
if ever you ask me
to withhold attentions."

He hadn't time for courtesy,
"It's after hours--
I'll not find you've wandered
to someone else."
His chin lifted up strong,
just like his mug shot.

Behind-the-scenes
he placed a hand in her hair,
the other embraced her waist.
There was a swell.

The bar-tender asked him of her,
but he shrugged.
And that was it.
"What are you about?”
went her. Then he said,
"Darling, I'm complicated.
Nothing fancy, let's go,
all the thugs are out."

It didn't matter,
they'd not muck their night.
She with her inveteracy
had arranged a pressed
clover in his front pocket.

Posted: November 4th, 2009, 4:43 pm
by Perdida
Damn, i love this.... i could see this happening before my eyes.

all i can say is.. Wow!

:D

Posted: November 4th, 2009, 7:28 pm
by Barry
This made me think of Jim and Pam. You know, the Morrison couple?
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James and Pamela Forever.
Welcome to the Forever Family.

Peace,
Barry

Posted: November 4th, 2009, 11:59 pm
by SadLuckDame
Perdida, thanks much girlie. Me too. It just plays out like that in my head, some days. I just watch it, then write it in the same fashion.

Hey Barry, yes, their insanity but they'd still kiss. Kiss to make-up, mostly. My first poetry to read was Jim. He'd caught me when I was but innocent.

Posted: November 5th, 2009, 9:47 am
by saw
I like the conversational tone...particularly fond of :

His chin lifted up strong,
just like his mug shot. .....good stuff....

Posted: November 5th, 2009, 11:29 am
by mb
nicely done - you dance on the knife edge
of the tale and leave the rest for us to
fill in.

-mb

Posted: November 5th, 2009, 11:39 pm
by SadLuckDame
Thanks very much saw and mb.
I'm rather fond of the mug shot, too. :wink: