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working on it

Posted: November 24th, 2009, 9:39 am
by saw
my sanity hung on my shoulders
the last thrift store suit on the rack
but I knew I would be okay if I could
sit in her aura and watch her undress

and it was a damn good thing
that I was cheap steak tough
or I might have cracked to pieces
when that fat-headed boss stepped

carelessly on my spectacles, my ego, my balls
but the road called, me on one end of the string
her on the other, our tin cans pushing
against the barometric pressure

but this amber engine light mocks me
like it knows my fate and I can't push
the pedal through the floorboard
even with both feet

the turnpike to her house looked like
a cheap parlor trick, an m. c. escher
endless joke of a path to a few hours of bliss
then the long ride back to reality

Posted: November 24th, 2009, 9:46 am
by judih
coming or going
the door goes both ways
weathervane like a toss of the dice
watching my life
is an out of body coincidence

Posted: November 26th, 2009, 9:31 am
by saw
yes judih, I agree with everything you say.....shalom.....

Posted: November 28th, 2009, 4:55 pm
by mnaz
I like the "running on empty" feel of this one, the undercurrents of questioning that which the protagonist knows is an unquestionable need, at least for now. I like the can and string image. cool.

Posted: November 28th, 2009, 8:09 pm
by saw
thanx mnaz, appreciate the details.........