Novel Rap

[Doreen Peri]

To be spoken to a hip hop beat...w/drums and music like Eminem ... haha!


Novel Rap

One day I'll write a novel, get outa this hovel,
make a million dollah, go on Oprah, I'll pen some fiction diction,
get famous like the poe-tree beats, it'll be sweeeeeet!, recite
excerpts on the street, it'll be crazy, i'll be like slim shady
only i'll be a lady, rappin' and tappin' my feet, sellin' hardbacks
and paperbacks, i'll be like a hog, a razorback, a novel dawg,
a doggette, ain't gonna sweat, ain't got there yet!
Novel will have a plot, I'll give it all I got, it'll have a storyline,
it'll be all mine, straight from the soul, the whole of me,
it'll be a rhapsodic harmonious serendipity, word after word,
the world's absurd, gonna write it down, you'll hear the sound of
a million hands clappin', i'll be rappin' a story, boy, ain't gonna be
syrupy or nuttin', i ain't gonna be coy, just speakin' the truth, bro,
gonna write a novel, show the world i ain't no poe-tree ho, i'm the real
deal writer, sir, gonna be a cool kitty, purr out chapters, turn my itty
bitty two-bit skits into a made-for-the-screen movie, brotha,
people gonna scream for anotha and anotha, gonna write about war
and death and love and above all touch, mind-to-mind, it'll be the kinda
story they'll adore, they'll be beggin' for more, homie,
it'll be set in all kinsda places,
it'll blast yer homeostasis!,
you'll be runnin' 'round the bases,
i'll be pitchin' it over the plate,
don't be late, now, ya hear?
gonna write a novel novel,
it'll be out next year!

5/23/2010

[Arcadia]

bravo!

[Lightning Rod]

amusing, doreen

I think you have a brighter future as a novelist than you do in the world of geriatric hip-hop. I've always said you were a natural novelist. You should create a character like Dori Danger who is an art detective and write mysteries about her aimed at girls about Alicia's age. (see discussion on publishing)

[Doreen Peri]

Veronica... I'd bow but hip hop artists don't bow 'cause they have to act like they're too cool for bowing. LOL... but seriously thanks for reading and for the bravo!

Lrod - glad you got a laugh... My sister is writing novels in the young adult category. I wouldn't be interested in writing for that audience. I might be interested in writing children's novels though... but probably I'd be better at children's poetry. After all, I've been writing childlike rhymes for many years... lots of experience with that... could also illustrate them. That's an idea. I'm sorta liking writing the hip hop stuff, too. Yeah, novels probably take too much time to write. I'll just stick to hip hop and be a hip hop queen. I wrote a poem about that once. I was the Mamma Jamma... came on stage wearing hair curlers and a robe... a comedic middle-aged hip hop queen.... (definitely *not* geriatric!.. middle-aged!).... In the poem the Mamma Jamma did a hip hop rap like that funny lady columnist whose name I can't remember now because I can't remember anything because my mind has been eaten away by poison ... I was going to link to it but the studio eight search engine sucks. Anyway thanks!

[Sarongsongbluez89]

I loved this! I need to read more of your pieces.

I used to write short-fiction and creative non-fiction pieces, I wasn't the biggest fan of writing young adult. I dappled in children's stories, but they are actually pretty difficult to write! Fitting such a big message in little space in a language children understand...wow.

But anyways, I'll totally be fan if you become a hip hop writer!

[Doreen Peri]

Thanks, Sarong! I agree with that .... "fit such a big message in a little space in a language children will understand... wow." That was very well said! Easier said than done. I'm a huge fan of Shel Silverstein. I'd love to write stuff like that and his cartoons are to die for. Anyway, he's a children's poetry idol for me.

Glad you enjoyed this hip hop nonsense! LOL! I was just having some fun with it after I was listening to Eminem freestyling on youtube the other night.

In my comment earlier in this thread, I referred to a poem I wrote several years ago which I couldn't find in the search engine.... so I just searched for it on my computer.

Here it is... my crazy idea for a stage show character .... A middle-aged hip hop queen decked out in bathrobe and curlers w/ cold cream on her face, rapping topics like Erma Bombeck used to write about. LOL


Mamma Jamma

I've gotta plan to become a Hip Hop Queen!
Gonna call myself Da Middle-Aged Mamma Jamma
aka MAMJA, leap out on stage with my hair
in curlers and cold cream on my face,
wearin' a terry cloth bathrobe (royal blue),
do a rhythmic rhyme or two and dare
the band to a chase behind the curtain,
certain I got their glasses steamed,
then when they don't follow my lead,
I'll do a MAMJA strip tease, lose the robe
slowly and with ease and when the beat
changes to a tribal drum,
get the crowd to hum with me
while I rap about the insanity
of the price of beef at the local supermarket,
take my robe and park it on the back
of a very high stool, while cooin' a cool rhythm
in my shiny red stiletto shoes and fishnet hose.
Yeah, dat be da way my future stage show goes,
me donnin' some skimpy flash,
talkin' some mamma trash
slingin' cold cream, rantin' 'bout
teaser interest rates at the local bank,
hip-hoppin' 'bout the thankless job of laundry
and vacuuming, singin' with my backup group,
the Merry Maids,
blazin' in like Bombeck
'cause what the heck, I be da MAMJA,
batta bing batta boom!
Gonna rule da room!

[Sarongsongbluez89]

A screenplay just developed in my mind...

You know how great that would be? Build the theme around the life of a maid who wants to rap...very nice material!

[Artguy]

Yo Yo you go girl Dor...

[mnaz]

I can't wait to read it. I've been so busy writing that I haven't done much reading . . . "Homeostasis!" love that. Nice groove, Doreen.