I used to work at the fucking store. A nice little place, really, I qwent in drunk, and it is fun. There is this fat girl that comes in all the time. Sheis always horney, and stands up at the conter and shows her flowing fat rolls off to me. I never liked fat too much, or at all really, but it is kind of fun to listen to her.
I go home at night and masterbate and call sex phone lines and look in the wanted adds. I am unemployed. I am holding out for a management position. Does not matter where, just somewhere. And this is one of the biggest trailer park communities in the usa, the fucking great country it is.
I masterbate on public toilets some time, and after watching cnn it worries me a little I may have aids. I went in tio the clinic, and this gay guy was the doctor, or said he was a doctor, but I'm sure gays don't have the brains tobe doctors. Always thinking about cocks and all, the gays, not me, I am striaght, I masrterbate to hot porn stars, you know, not guys. Sure guysare in the p[orn shots but it is not themthat turn me on.
So finally somthing comes along. The "bill lynch fair" and I meet the carnieas and scream "where have you been all my life.
at the helm of the gravitron...
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Axanderdeath
- Posts: 954
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Lightning Rod
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Goeff
I'm going to have to play Simon Cowell here for a minute. You ask me to read your pieces and comment, well here it is.
I know others have told you this and you have been resistant to their advice. But my advice to you, if you wish to be recognized as a writer, is to learn how to spell and punctuate. I know it sounds like a mundane thing but if someone has to stumble and guess at what you mean, they will simply quit reading. You want them to read, don't you?
If you were trying out for American Idol of Writers and you presented me with a document that had no regard for the English language I would look at you the same way Simon Cowell looks at a singer who has no pitch, tempo or technique. I would just roll my eyes and say, "next."
Much of your stuff is bright and witty if you have the patience to wade through the mistakes, and they are mistakes, not style. They shout that you don't know what you are doing.
Remember this: The only thing a writer has is his credibility.
If I see you misspell "masturbate" I wonder if you can even masturbate. See what I mean?
Do yourself a favor and learn your craft. Otherwise your readers will dismiss you.
I'm going to have to play Simon Cowell here for a minute. You ask me to read your pieces and comment, well here it is.
I know others have told you this and you have been resistant to their advice. But my advice to you, if you wish to be recognized as a writer, is to learn how to spell and punctuate. I know it sounds like a mundane thing but if someone has to stumble and guess at what you mean, they will simply quit reading. You want them to read, don't you?
If you were trying out for American Idol of Writers and you presented me with a document that had no regard for the English language I would look at you the same way Simon Cowell looks at a singer who has no pitch, tempo or technique. I would just roll my eyes and say, "next."
Much of your stuff is bright and witty if you have the patience to wade through the mistakes, and they are mistakes, not style. They shout that you don't know what you are doing.
Remember this: The only thing a writer has is his credibility.
If I see you misspell "masturbate" I wonder if you can even masturbate. See what I mean?
Do yourself a favor and learn your craft. Otherwise your readers will dismiss you.
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stilltrucking
- Posts: 20607
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
writting is better for me than fucking, I didn't see him put a pc after this one. I am trying to take the advice of someone I admire very much and speak softly, but I am old and sick and grouchy as hell, so dont fucking read this one either, If I could write I would be posting to litkicks where serious writers go,(just my shitty sense of humor again sorry) as long as I don't ask anyone to buy my shit to read it I finally pretty good about my scribbling, save your words for the ones he asked you to PC
I think I should take a break for a couple of months because all the men here are starting to annoy me. So dont read this because it is shit
cant fuck cant dance cant truck, barely able to breathe but this crap keeps me going in spite of myself
masturbating in public is being a sick puppy if you got to write about it do it, You can write LR your stuff is clean and a good ride for the reader as Levi would say, I would rather see geoff let it rip, I think he is serious about making his daily bread from this writting thing. Lets save the PC and sage advice for when he asks for it. He is twice three times the writer that I am, so are you so I suppose you are giving good advice. Doesn't he write sttuff that is more polished, maybe he should save the spontanaety for jams.
I hope I am not shouting, but I sure as fuck dont know what I am doing. Father forgive me because I don't know what I am doing. You forgive me and I forgive you. I didn't like this one much either but only because I am a sick puppy too.
I think I should take a break for a couple of months because all the men here are starting to annoy me. So dont read this because it is shit
cant fuck cant dance cant truck, barely able to breathe but this crap keeps me going in spite of myself
masturbating in public is being a sick puppy if you got to write about it do it, You can write LR your stuff is clean and a good ride for the reader as Levi would say, I would rather see geoff let it rip, I think he is serious about making his daily bread from this writting thing. Lets save the PC and sage advice for when he asks for it. He is twice three times the writer that I am, so are you so I suppose you are giving good advice. Doesn't he write sttuff that is more polished, maybe he should save the spontanaety for jams.
.They shout that you don't know what you are doing
I hope I am not shouting, but I sure as fuck dont know what I am doing. Father forgive me because I don't know what I am doing. You forgive me and I forgive you. I didn't like this one much either but only because I am a sick puppy too.
Last edited by stilltrucking on January 29th, 2005, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
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stilltrucking
- Posts: 20607
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
Fucking embarrassment, i wonder if Burroughs ever got embarrassed, Good god, shame is the master emotion. Cecil tells me I am an old fucking fool, that used to embarrass me but not anymore. If I never fucked again I have no regrets, and believe me I am very fucking sure that I wont ever again. But I am wrong so often I could be mistaken, I proceed as if that part of my life is over. I have had some very good years and warm memories to hold me. But Old Waylon sang "you can die from the cold in the arms of a nightmare, knowing well that your best days are gone.
Manwhile girls grow to womanhood and I see what a brave new world these new woman are making, if I was younger I would howl at the moon, I see those boys grow into men. Tkink of all the 15 and sixteen year old people we have watched mature into amazings, as long as there are lovers out there riding that train, I feel fortunate to have been on it a few times myself (Ferlinghetti's train" love comes harder for the old,)
, they tell me that love is on its way, but I don't believe it, I have become a conscientious objector and celibate in love, sorry, why am I writing this, I hear voices Clay, voices in the night this is my road, you are all voices on a cyber band cb radio, like strolling down the boulevard listening to people in a line of cars and trucks from new jersey to Oregon, all these stranger I hear here, I am old but I am happy, I have found love a plenty enough to last a life time, Hemmingway said it is easier to write when you are in love, I am taking the hard way, I want to love every woman here, and speak softly to the young. Looking for the love of grand children, find them where i can, a dirty old man to the girls, and a old fucking fool to the boys, but maybe something will linger, and it helps me to heal my relationships with family members, which is what I am after most of all, fortunate to be retired, until Bushco takes my SS retirement a way, maybe that would force me back on the road, which was the most stable home I have had in my life, almost twenty years and a million miles, that is gone, I think I miss the road more than anything except the ocean.. You know that bit about he who is not busy being born, I am busy dieing, I worry about prepaid burial insurance and loosing some weght and cleaning up my crib so I don't leave a mess for my family to clean up.. And once in a while I feel the sunshine of her love, her, that woman who ever she is, all these voices rolled up into one, I got nothing to give any woman any more except my words of love.
I am grateful for the garden you all have created here. I am just a weed, dont pay me no mind. What ever happened to jim vinny and tete offensive he saw right through me
ramble and prattle my specialities,
Happy Easter
I have edited this thing about ten times, I hope it is not offensive to your eyes.
At the present time in this best of all spatio temporal objective fact worlds about me their is only one wman who I would venture out of my shack to see, she is in the roanoke valley back in virginia, I owe her a back rub if she does not hate me for not showing up that friday night for her Yoga class; so saving every quater with motorcycle dreams of making that trip to see her down at her old country synagogue.
Other than her I am terrified that I will get flamed by another litchick for hitting on her.
Done
Manwhile girls grow to womanhood and I see what a brave new world these new woman are making, if I was younger I would howl at the moon, I see those boys grow into men. Tkink of all the 15 and sixteen year old people we have watched mature into amazings, as long as there are lovers out there riding that train, I feel fortunate to have been on it a few times myself (Ferlinghetti's train" love comes harder for the old,)
, they tell me that love is on its way, but I don't believe it, I have become a conscientious objector and celibate in love, sorry, why am I writing this, I hear voices Clay, voices in the night this is my road, you are all voices on a cyber band cb radio, like strolling down the boulevard listening to people in a line of cars and trucks from new jersey to Oregon, all these stranger I hear here, I am old but I am happy, I have found love a plenty enough to last a life time, Hemmingway said it is easier to write when you are in love, I am taking the hard way, I want to love every woman here, and speak softly to the young. Looking for the love of grand children, find them where i can, a dirty old man to the girls, and a old fucking fool to the boys, but maybe something will linger, and it helps me to heal my relationships with family members, which is what I am after most of all, fortunate to be retired, until Bushco takes my SS retirement a way, maybe that would force me back on the road, which was the most stable home I have had in my life, almost twenty years and a million miles, that is gone, I think I miss the road more than anything except the ocean.. You know that bit about he who is not busy being born, I am busy dieing, I worry about prepaid burial insurance and loosing some weght and cleaning up my crib so I don't leave a mess for my family to clean up.. And once in a while I feel the sunshine of her love, her, that woman who ever she is, all these voices rolled up into one, I got nothing to give any woman any more except my words of love.
I am grateful for the garden you all have created here. I am just a weed, dont pay me no mind. What ever happened to jim vinny and tete offensive he saw right through me
ramble and prattle my specialities,
Happy Easter
I have edited this thing about ten times, I hope it is not offensive to your eyes.
At the present time in this best of all spatio temporal objective fact worlds about me their is only one wman who I would venture out of my shack to see, she is in the roanoke valley back in virginia, I owe her a back rub if she does not hate me for not showing up that friday night for her Yoga class; so saving every quater with motorcycle dreams of making that trip to see her down at her old country synagogue.
Other than her I am terrified that I will get flamed by another litchick for hitting on her.
Done
Last edited by stilltrucking on January 29th, 2005, 7:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Lightning Rod
- Posts: 5211
- Joined: August 15th, 2004, 6:57 pm
- Location: between my ears
- Contact:
I hope you are busy being born until the day you die, truck
I hope that for you because I hope it for myself
yes, it's majestic the way the generations unfold
two days ago I learned that my second daughter was in labor
with my second grandchild. Don't know the outcome yet.
And the generations march on.
I hope that for you because I hope it for myself
yes, it's majestic the way the generations unfold
two days ago I learned that my second daughter was in labor
with my second grandchild. Don't know the outcome yet.
And the generations march on.
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stilltrucking
- Posts: 20607
- Joined: October 24th, 2004, 12:29 pm
- Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas
I got a grand niece or nephew on the way in april in may, but i got a nephew that who may be a woman hater, I hate writing about my family, he gets occasional death threats from her friends, she thirty four he twenty one, she has another baby leaves the shitty diapers laying around, trashed piled up waist high in the kitchen, kind of a truce right now, he moved out does not mention her much anymore, I remind him about it when he starts missing dating girls. see I don't want to write about this but it keeps leaking out, everywhere I post, bits and pieces on eyecandy, jams, snippets, I remember when I first started posting to litkicks, 2001 I think around november or december, I was praying for a couple more years to pull it together. Now I am happy to get another day. Thank you for taking the time to read my scribbling. TO tell you the truth punctuation scares the bejeezus out of me.
And Geoff will steal your face right off your head.
And I need to sit on my hands, posting too much, obsessing again, going to work on a website and you give you a break.
And Geoff will steal your face right off your head.
And I need to sit on my hands, posting too much, obsessing again, going to work on a website and you give you a break.
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hester_prynne
Got your note A.D., so i'll chime in.
I read this a couple of times, I have to say, I got this image in my head of someone speaking your words to me....maybe a bowery bum sort.....toothless.......amiable.......overloaded with imput that's coming out of him in random unconnected thoughts, a lonely sort of person, who comforts himself temporarily via masterbation and porn pictures, inoffensive in that this person is non-threatening. If you made it pure dialogue it'd be cool....it definately reflects a familiar energy, disconnectness of self due to sensory overload.
It seems as if it is a fragment piece, perhaps it could be a longer story or dialogue as the energy moves along in time....
I also agree with LRod about punctuation and spelling.
There's no excuse for the lack of it in your prose.
I advise you sincerely to clean it up.
H
I read this a couple of times, I have to say, I got this image in my head of someone speaking your words to me....maybe a bowery bum sort.....toothless.......amiable.......overloaded with imput that's coming out of him in random unconnected thoughts, a lonely sort of person, who comforts himself temporarily via masterbation and porn pictures, inoffensive in that this person is non-threatening. If you made it pure dialogue it'd be cool....it definately reflects a familiar energy, disconnectness of self due to sensory overload.
It seems as if it is a fragment piece, perhaps it could be a longer story or dialogue as the energy moves along in time....
I also agree with LRod about punctuation and spelling.
There's no excuse for the lack of it in your prose.
I advise you sincerely to clean it up.
H
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Axanderdeath
- Posts: 954
- Joined: December 20th, 2004, 9:24 pm
- Location: montreal or somewhere in canada or the world
Well I wrote all those post drunk out of my head. That one was not spell checked. I did not even read it over. I am not a "bowerey bum" or what ever hester said. To lightening-rod I know I have to learn my craft, but I find it hard to get my act together. I keep on getting drunk, and scribling some shit down that I think is the funniest thing ever, but then in the morning I can't even look at it. I can't look at it some time for days. I wake up with thick layers of drunk stinking acohol sweet and a ponding head ach, and feel no worth. Really I thought those little rants, like the one I just went off on, although it is with bad punuation and was off topic, I thought that was what writing was. I would like to read a writer like me. That is what I am saying. L-rod though Thanks for takeing a look and hester and stilltrucking.
I felt alittle stupid about ever bring the American Idol thing up in the frist place. I was thinking less about the format of the show and more about how there are so many people out there all going for the same thing, and only a hand full will get a chance, and evn if the are good, they might be behind or ahead of their time-or just be plan bad.
I felt alittle stupid about ever bring the American Idol thing up in the frist place. I was thinking less about the format of the show and more about how there are so many people out there all going for the same thing, and only a hand full will get a chance, and evn if the are good, they might be behind or ahead of their time-or just be plan bad.
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Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
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goeff... you are a treasure...your last post was so on the money, it made me want to hug you... keep on writing it as it pours out... don't stop... please... for yourself and for whoever will listen because ya know what? everybody's listening to somebody even when it seems like shadows on walls have no ears... and that was just a poor attempt at poetic allusion... don't mind me... keep on writing it out, ok? i love it when you do.
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hester_prynne
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Axanderdeath
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