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I really tried

Posted: March 4th, 2011, 7:43 am
by saw
I tried to mind my business
run the stale errands, pretend
these things were essential activity
barbershop, keys made, fill up
the tank, I tried not to notice
the smooth alpine curves
highlighting your tight denim
landscape, the brevity of that
skirt, the peekaboo toned calves
glistening muscle atop snakeskin
cowgirl boots, tried so hard not to
covet an opportunity to see the rest
of that winged tattoo that disappeared
into the nether regions, perhaps
a bird of paradise, I really really tried
to reason away conscious classification
the difference in our ages, our years
of kicking up, eating dirt, but that twenty
something smile just gave me
the same encouragement, the
same wonderment, the same hope
I've known intimately like old freckles
on the back of my hand, for a lifetime.

Re: I really tried

Posted: March 4th, 2011, 8:16 am
by dadio
quite a write here. good poetry and theme. 8)

Re: I really tried

Posted: March 4th, 2011, 9:28 am
by joel
This is smooth and fluid in language and cadence, but even more powerful in the empathy evoked for the speaker and the twenty-something subject...and the way you write is natural, enviable, to me like "yeah, yeah--exactly!" Peace and thanks!

Re: I really tried

Posted: March 5th, 2011, 8:27 am
by saw
dadio, thank you...and joel thanx for detailed feedback, you are most generous ..........peace ( calm )