polar bear boredom (a beginning)
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 7:22 am
polar bear boredom
the polar bear swats the empty keg across the clearing. it clangs off rocks and bounces before it comes to rest.
-what’s all that clatter?
a man fumbles with a tent zipper. in another nearby tent muffled sex sounds occasionally break out in full volume. the man makes his way out the tent and looks around and sees the polar bear 50 yards off rummaging though last night’s wasted party site. the air above the campfire shimmers from remaining coals. the tiniest smoke flies.
the man’s eyes grow large for half a second but he remains calm.
-well shit
he reaches for his cigarette pack. it is devoid of butts. four joints stand in one corner.
-one thing’s as good as another. good morning sunshine.
he removes the first and lights it. the pack goes in his shirt pocket.
he stands still, smokes and watches the bear. the firepit is between them, as well as a fair portion of clearing. they are still fucking in the tent.
the man smoking the joint starts thinking about polar bears. largest carnivore on land, hollow fur, the myth of a particular taste for human flesh. toxic liver. top of the food chain.
the man thinks some more.
-wait. we aren’t anywhere near a pole. what’s going on?
polar bears get very bored in zoos. in the wild they walk or swim thousands of miles. they are roamers, nomads. for winter and cubbing the she-bear builds a snow cave to keep her cubs warm. otherwise it’s all seal hunting, long walks in diminishing arctic whiteness and the rare but increasing encounters with man. polar bears gather to rummage town dumps round the Hudson Bay. Men are forced to trank the monsters and ship them off to the Arctic Circle, from whence they have dipped too low. It is easy to hunt trash.
In zoos polar bears suffer boredom. depression sets in. they lack the stimulus of motion and hunting. in a zoo they pace thier confines til they wear the pads of their feet raw on the concrete.
polar bears have hollow fur for insulation and floatation. polar bears in new zealand turned green with algae in thier fur, laid down and died of boredom. it aint easy for arctic carnivores to be green.
all these thoughts flit through his over-informed head as he puffs on the joint imagining the raw power of the beast.
the polar bear bats an empty keg across the clearing. it bounces off a rock and then a tree. the bear has found a toy. now he needs a friend to share it with. the bear chases across the clearing after the keg away from the tents.
-wow.
he exhales smoke from his nose.
-any animal that plays jokes or games is smart.
-are you going to smoke that whole joint by yourself?
a blonde girl (it’s dyed, but shh...) has emerged from his tent and approached him without notice. he starts. she takes the joint.
she drags deep and talks around the smoke in her lungs.
-they’ve been going at it for a long time in there.
she points to the other tent with her cloud of smoke.
-anytime you get em out in the woods they turn wild. they wont wear a thread of clothes today.
she pulls close to him. her hand crosses his chest. he takes the joint. all husky she strokes his arm.
-i feel like an animal out here.
-concentrate and tell me what your animal instinct tells you about that polar bear.
he points and holds onto her for the comfort she’ll need.
-holy shit!
she says it loud. but when you throw in the loud sex and the frolicking carnivore it doesnt make much matter.
-shhh. calm down.
-what the fuck?
-it’s a polar bear playing with an empty keg like a beach ball.
-wow.
-try not to attract its attention
-she’s beautiful
-she?
-yes.
-did you lift her skirt when i wasnt looking?
-fuck you. she’s an elegant dancer gracefully crossing the meadow.
he smiles and exhales.
-she is beautiful.
-you dont think she’ll eat us do you?
-so far she hasnt shown much interest
-maybe she’s toying with us
-she-bears are the most dangerous.
-wait, why is there a polar bear here?
-the arctic circle this aint...
-there’s a circle-K in town.
-i guess they have icees.
the joint chainges hands leisurely. he gathers firewood as it has been scattered by the previous night’s activities. stoking the fire seems like a good idea. all the food is already tied in a tree. she picks up sticks to help. the other tent has quieted down some. they walk behind the tents with tents and fire between them and the clearing and the polar bear. here they grab some larger stuff to burn. they make a few trips.
man’s answer to nature is most often fire.
-she’s going to need a drink after this frolick.
-the closest water is behind us.
-oh.
-it never pays to stand in a she-bear’s way and running just makes them chase you.
the polar bear swats the empty keg across the clearing. it clangs off rocks and bounces before it comes to rest.
-what’s all that clatter?
a man fumbles with a tent zipper. in another nearby tent muffled sex sounds occasionally break out in full volume. the man makes his way out the tent and looks around and sees the polar bear 50 yards off rummaging though last night’s wasted party site. the air above the campfire shimmers from remaining coals. the tiniest smoke flies.
the man’s eyes grow large for half a second but he remains calm.
-well shit
he reaches for his cigarette pack. it is devoid of butts. four joints stand in one corner.
-one thing’s as good as another. good morning sunshine.
he removes the first and lights it. the pack goes in his shirt pocket.
he stands still, smokes and watches the bear. the firepit is between them, as well as a fair portion of clearing. they are still fucking in the tent.
the man smoking the joint starts thinking about polar bears. largest carnivore on land, hollow fur, the myth of a particular taste for human flesh. toxic liver. top of the food chain.
the man thinks some more.
-wait. we aren’t anywhere near a pole. what’s going on?
polar bears get very bored in zoos. in the wild they walk or swim thousands of miles. they are roamers, nomads. for winter and cubbing the she-bear builds a snow cave to keep her cubs warm. otherwise it’s all seal hunting, long walks in diminishing arctic whiteness and the rare but increasing encounters with man. polar bears gather to rummage town dumps round the Hudson Bay. Men are forced to trank the monsters and ship them off to the Arctic Circle, from whence they have dipped too low. It is easy to hunt trash.
In zoos polar bears suffer boredom. depression sets in. they lack the stimulus of motion and hunting. in a zoo they pace thier confines til they wear the pads of their feet raw on the concrete.
polar bears have hollow fur for insulation and floatation. polar bears in new zealand turned green with algae in thier fur, laid down and died of boredom. it aint easy for arctic carnivores to be green.
all these thoughts flit through his over-informed head as he puffs on the joint imagining the raw power of the beast.
the polar bear bats an empty keg across the clearing. it bounces off a rock and then a tree. the bear has found a toy. now he needs a friend to share it with. the bear chases across the clearing after the keg away from the tents.
-wow.
he exhales smoke from his nose.
-any animal that plays jokes or games is smart.
-are you going to smoke that whole joint by yourself?
a blonde girl (it’s dyed, but shh...) has emerged from his tent and approached him without notice. he starts. she takes the joint.
she drags deep and talks around the smoke in her lungs.
-they’ve been going at it for a long time in there.
she points to the other tent with her cloud of smoke.
-anytime you get em out in the woods they turn wild. they wont wear a thread of clothes today.
she pulls close to him. her hand crosses his chest. he takes the joint. all husky she strokes his arm.
-i feel like an animal out here.
-concentrate and tell me what your animal instinct tells you about that polar bear.
he points and holds onto her for the comfort she’ll need.
-holy shit!
she says it loud. but when you throw in the loud sex and the frolicking carnivore it doesnt make much matter.
-shhh. calm down.
-what the fuck?
-it’s a polar bear playing with an empty keg like a beach ball.
-wow.
-try not to attract its attention
-she’s beautiful
-she?
-yes.
-did you lift her skirt when i wasnt looking?
-fuck you. she’s an elegant dancer gracefully crossing the meadow.
he smiles and exhales.
-she is beautiful.
-you dont think she’ll eat us do you?
-so far she hasnt shown much interest
-maybe she’s toying with us
-she-bears are the most dangerous.
-wait, why is there a polar bear here?
-the arctic circle this aint...
-there’s a circle-K in town.
-i guess they have icees.
the joint chainges hands leisurely. he gathers firewood as it has been scattered by the previous night’s activities. stoking the fire seems like a good idea. all the food is already tied in a tree. she picks up sticks to help. the other tent has quieted down some. they walk behind the tents with tents and fire between them and the clearing and the polar bear. here they grab some larger stuff to burn. they make a few trips.
man’s answer to nature is most often fire.
-she’s going to need a drink after this frolick.
-the closest water is behind us.
-oh.
-it never pays to stand in a she-bear’s way and running just makes them chase you.