Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

1096 days since
the last burn was felt
since the last
orgasmic vomit
since the blackness
of addiction gripped
tightly round
my inhuman neck
things come and go
moving away from one
only to succumb to another
another that won't kill me
quite as fast
but today i allow
and welcome
the perverse
to take the place
of my obscene lust
for the other
clean and sober
but none the less
sickened
still seperated
enough
to keep looking outside
for fulfillment
but at least
i'm alive to do so..

This is good.

Do you mind if I suggest you lose "round" and maybe drop completely the "to do so.." at the end. Sounds better ending with just "I'm alive".....dunno, maybe you lose some connotation by doing that.....

Just my two bits. Really like this tho.

Addiction. Is there such a thing as a good addiction? I wonder.
"Gonna have to face it I'm addicted to love". Yeah, addicted to love might be a good one but probably too much of a ring of obsession to it, and definitely obsession is not a good thing, right? Okay I'm ramblin' here.

Thanks for posting. Good poetry, to my mind.

mousey1 wrote:This is good.

Do you mind if I suggest you lose "round" and maybe drop completely the "to do so.." at the end. Sounds better ending with just "I'm alive".....dunno, maybe you lose some connotation by doing that.....

Just my two bits. Really like this tho.

Addiction. Is there such a thing as a good addiction? I wonder.
"Gonna have to face it I'm addicted to love". Yeah, addicted to love might be a good one but probably too much of a ring of obsession to it, and definitely obsession is not a good thing, right? Okay I'm ramblin' here.

Thanks for posting. Good poetry, to my mind.

Addiction can be a good thing. It all depends what you enjoy. I am sure people enjoy pain, just like some enjoy pleasure,