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the brushes

Posted: May 13th, 2011, 4:05 pm
by creativesoul
the dreams that contained my creativity
have there conditions
like a place to live with no intruders
the box i held these things in
got trashed by all the times i have had to move
away from and towards
the leaking holes in my soul
are just waiting for a chance to seal off

the promises of good fortune still lurk like a dellusion
love and happiness and white picket fences
just keep divison in the forefront of your mind
nothing is more foolish than a man that thinks he did this- if even that...
if these small instances of awe and reverie
seem a bit distant; perhaps the viewpiont needs renovation
heoka in his backwards inversato layers
once peeled like an orange
it is of no use to make the changes of exposure
different-once turned upside down and backwards
there is only forwards, more focus, more dance
songs and chants and healing
weepin tears for the wealth of hope
water flows in between places where we cannot see
follow the river of the heart
it is the place to start
although it seems there is no time for the arts
less sleep and more heart
is the paint that flows color theu the darts
making a bullseye
in a place where most cannot see
free, floating on coor and energy and fire like desire'
it is the least that i require

Re: the brushes

Posted: May 13th, 2011, 10:44 pm
by judih
there are some lush moments in this piece, like:
"forwards, more focus, more dance
songs and chants and healing
weepin tears for the wealth of hope"

and the line after: "water flows in between places where we cannot see
follow the river"

i also like the "bullseye in a place where most cannot see"

i found a few typos - perhaps you could come back to this - it has the makings of a dynamite piece -

appreciate the stimulation of thought you've offered me (like!)

Re: the brushes

Posted: May 14th, 2011, 6:22 am
by the mingo
i gots some agree with judih. i don't always agree with judih, mind you, but when i do agree with judih i just double down on it and never look back 'cause it's a solid bet. there is like a whole bunch of little haiku in this piece of yours and they are all crowded together as if they were eager to get on the bus and light out for the wide open. Bam!

and i love heyoka refs - the whole idea of them just blows like a wind between my brain cells, island girl, let me tell ya. i read an account once from a comanche warrior 'bout a skirmish they was having with the southern cheyenne. there was yelllin' and war whoops and scalps and blood & everybody was having a good ol' top o' the morning to ya fine time and it weren't going too well for the cheyenne. the comanche said thats when he saw a cheyenne heyoka ride through the battle sitting backwards on his pony with his bow drawn against himself. Fuck ! that act lifted the hearts of the cheyenne from the ground and they became very brave and sent the comanche warriors runnin back to their women in texas.

laughter in a rising heart is power.

anyways, back to your piece. it has things that are just a shining. thx. 8)

Re: the brushes

Posted: May 14th, 2011, 6:27 am
by the mingo
shit i forgot i was gonna mention i especially liked this that you wrote:

"the box i held these things in
got trashed by all the times i have had to move
away from and towards
the leaking holes in my soul
are just waiting for a chance to seal off"

o hell yeah!

Re: the brushes

Posted: May 14th, 2011, 7:21 am
by judih
yeah, i liked the box bit a whole lot!

(interesting mingo lingo an added bonus)

Re: the brushes

Posted: May 14th, 2011, 10:37 am
by saw
yea c-soul.....dwelling on the past is liking plodding in circles through gobs of hot tar.....you never get anywhere and your always a mess.....look forward....set your sails for new adventures.....peace.....

Re: the brushes

Posted: May 24th, 2011, 12:17 am
by creativesoul
apparently the b 52 s in my computer had a real party because i hadda take the baby [computer doctor] it just got it back- loving your input... aloha