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the evolution of percussion....and the withering away of the

Posted: July 29th, 2011, 9:03 am
by saw
corporate calamity
never impeded
by reality shows
muscular hi jinx flexing

minority has little to do
with race anymore,
the royalty minority
now they're bad-ass

have orgiastic bonfires
burning goddess fossil bloods
like the blackness of dead souls,
the desperation of summer simmers

lights the night skyline, hell
we all knew in the apses
of our heart's minds
the dinosaurs were going extinct

For The Second Time !
thankfully we can now
get an empty barrel for a pittance
and they make terrific war drums

stretch a little human skin over the top
and beat the tympani of man
til your muscles wither away,
like your brain did

many years before

Re: the evolution of percussion....and the withering away of

Posted: July 29th, 2011, 6:04 pm
by Harlequin
Wow, this is magnificent.

"stretch a little human skin over the top
and beat the tympani of man
til your muscles wither away,
like your brain did"

and

"minority has little to do
with race anymore,
the royalty minority
now they're bad-ass

have orgiastic bonfires
burning goddess fossil bloods"

Awesome writing..

Re: the evolution of percussion....and the withering away of

Posted: July 31st, 2011, 11:11 am
by saw
thanx very much harlequin for the feedback, and especially for the particulars....it is very helpful to know what is working......I tend to be stubborn about my style, so it's good to hear someone is with you......peace..... and happy writing

Re: the evolution of percussion....and the withering away of

Posted: August 1st, 2011, 12:09 am
by theirishsea
thankfully we can now
get an empty barrel for a pittance
and they make terrific war drums

stretch a little human skin over the top
and beat the tympani of man
til your muscles wither away,
like your brain did


I love the ending of this---so sad that it is so true.