Page 1 of 1

inside the costume

Posted: August 4th, 2011, 1:27 pm
by creativesoul
the woman looked out at the world
seeing blank expressions
thick livers


galbladders mutation
fat cells with ice cream and eggs and butter saturated
what seemed like an ornamental decoration
was sugar consumed in fire
in a system that smelled like flesh
all the way down the wire
death walked over and had some beers
asked her if he could buy her a drink
she looked at him and began to think

the man looked on
he sang a song
he spoke in many languages
yet today he was quiet
the diet of lessons valued under his belt
the sadness they once felt-
no one can share
what they had there

knowing how people love to talk
destroy love out of jealousy
envy greed and creature comforts
stole that day of love
he watched her battling
casual like
later on he prayed for her
she prayed for him
the disease had to leave

Re: inside the costume

Posted: August 4th, 2011, 10:34 pm
by RonPrice
"The artist must...fix the particular with the universality of his own personality," writes William Carlos Williams in the book Something to Say: WCW on Younger Poets(editor J. Breslin, Bew Directions Book(1934), p.43. I think this quotation on poetry applies to your poem. I felt the meaning of your poem and I am not you but, given the poem's universality(as Williams puts it) it connects with me. Thanks.-Ron Price, Tasmania

Re: inside the costume

Posted: August 5th, 2011, 11:11 am
by saw
fantastic images, that little first stanza threw me the way I liked to be surprised, and you really got to it in the next stanza......provocative ride c-soul....aloha

Re: inside the costume

Posted: August 7th, 2011, 1:31 pm
by creativesoul
thank you- it is an honor- and a privledge to be able to write in a coherent manner- there were days when i could not== aloha