Mother
Posted: August 6th, 2011, 8:50 pm
It's 4am
And I wake up to hear you screaming.
My university books, papers and dissertations lay forsaken on the floor.
I am now taking the crash course of life no books or answer keys provided and I struggle because my mind is divided between my desperation to cling to my youth... and you.
The proof that my childhood is gone
The lone reason my dreams have been deferred
My deterrence from "doing me"
Because while doing me your father and I produced a seed which proceeded to grow within me...
Changing my life forever and I knew when you were born I would never get that feeling of forever back.
And I had not the heart to end you so I had to pretend to be the adult I never wanted because I wanted to see you prosper and grow
I wanted you to know that I mean the sweat on my brow to promise you a brighter future.
I sutured up the wounds in my pride and yes my childhood died for you
But it's worth if you know that I tried for you...
That I cried for you when you got in harm's way
That to this day you are my one true purpose on this Earth
that you have mattered more than you can ever know since birth
And that I curse the adversity that tries to stop me from giving you the world.
Because I have cried to many nights
Cursed, worked, and fought to many fights to make your life beautiful.
My dutiful journey to work and back shall not be in vain.
The pain I endured to ensure your survival speaks volumes so I value every breath you take as if it were my own.
And I was mistaken to think you were a mistake because you make me a better version of myself.
The wealth of you is immeasurable.
The joy you bring sings through my heart like my favorite song
and now I long for forever again but only to spend it in your presence
Watching you grow and getting to know the you that you will come to be
And I have come to be more proud of you than I can say.
In every way you are the proof of the strength within me
Pushing the lengths within me trying to learn the book of you by heart
And whenever I start to struggle a vision of your smile breaks through my darkest days.
It sways me to make the right decision when the right decision seems wrong
And when I write of my decisions I will dedicate to you every single word
Because though I brought you into this world it was you who gave me life
You who gave me purpose
So my one true purpose on this Earth is to supply your every need
And it's easy for me to sweat for you because I just want to see you succeed.
I will happily bleed to see your life become everything you ever dreamed
Because everything I ever dream...
is for you
And I wake up to hear you screaming.
My university books, papers and dissertations lay forsaken on the floor.
I am now taking the crash course of life no books or answer keys provided and I struggle because my mind is divided between my desperation to cling to my youth... and you.
The proof that my childhood is gone
The lone reason my dreams have been deferred
My deterrence from "doing me"
Because while doing me your father and I produced a seed which proceeded to grow within me...
Changing my life forever and I knew when you were born I would never get that feeling of forever back.
And I had not the heart to end you so I had to pretend to be the adult I never wanted because I wanted to see you prosper and grow
I wanted you to know that I mean the sweat on my brow to promise you a brighter future.
I sutured up the wounds in my pride and yes my childhood died for you
But it's worth if you know that I tried for you...
That I cried for you when you got in harm's way
That to this day you are my one true purpose on this Earth
that you have mattered more than you can ever know since birth
And that I curse the adversity that tries to stop me from giving you the world.
Because I have cried to many nights
Cursed, worked, and fought to many fights to make your life beautiful.
My dutiful journey to work and back shall not be in vain.
The pain I endured to ensure your survival speaks volumes so I value every breath you take as if it were my own.
And I was mistaken to think you were a mistake because you make me a better version of myself.
The wealth of you is immeasurable.
The joy you bring sings through my heart like my favorite song
and now I long for forever again but only to spend it in your presence
Watching you grow and getting to know the you that you will come to be
And I have come to be more proud of you than I can say.
In every way you are the proof of the strength within me
Pushing the lengths within me trying to learn the book of you by heart
And whenever I start to struggle a vision of your smile breaks through my darkest days.
It sways me to make the right decision when the right decision seems wrong
And when I write of my decisions I will dedicate to you every single word
Because though I brought you into this world it was you who gave me life
You who gave me purpose
So my one true purpose on this Earth is to supply your every need
And it's easy for me to sweat for you because I just want to see you succeed.
I will happily bleed to see your life become everything you ever dreamed
Because everything I ever dream...
is for you
