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LOOSE CHANGE.

Posted: September 2nd, 2011, 4:27 am
by dadio
She counts each of his words
Like loose change. She holds them
In the palm of her hand and weighs
Their value. So many lies and valueless
Comments spoken. She wonders how
Many other women he had ripped off
With his words and false promises. She
Imagines him in bed with some other
Woman making love and spewing out
His words like vomit, while lying back
Next to her smoking a cigarette and
Watching the smoke lift to the ceiling
Of some unfamiliar room. He fucked
Well, but his words never lived up to
The promises made. She tries to empty
Her palms and her heart of his empty
Comments and words, to release them
Like dark unfriendly predatory birds.

Re: LOOSE CHANGE.

Posted: September 2nd, 2011, 8:33 am
by theirishsea
The simplicity and clarity of your poems are two of the virtues that I admire in your work. Your use of metaphors is never pretentious and it seems so natural, so true----yes, I say to myself---a great metaphor. Both the loose change and the unfriendly predatory birds are perfect here.

Another 5 star poem here.

Re: LOOSE CHANGE.

Posted: September 2nd, 2011, 1:54 pm
by dadio
Thank you for reading & commenting.