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beginings

Posted: June 14th, 2012, 4:35 am
by Shem
The end has come,
And I’ve not drunk enough to think about it.
The end has come,
It was there all along though still a surprise.
The end has come,
It was prophesized in the beginning.
Though I was blind,
Though I was willing.
Willingly blind.
The way all love begins.
With deceit
In darkness
And most of all hope.
Hope that THIS time you are wrong.
It’s NOT what is seems.
But it is.
It always is.
Hear your rationales, but listen to your heart.
Therein lies the truth.
And truth destroys.

Re: beginings

Posted: June 14th, 2012, 4:38 am
by Shem
Therein LAYS the truth? I think I like lies better. Being lied to was the seed after all. Thoughts? In this weak of a poem dose it even matter?

Re: beginings

Posted: June 14th, 2012, 11:21 pm
by judih
definitely 'lies'

do it, shem

Re: beginings

Posted: June 15th, 2012, 10:19 am
by Christopher T. George
Hello Shem

A worthwhile look at human existence and the fate that we all face. Well done.

One tiny nit. In line 2, I would make it more simply "And I’ve not drunk enough to think about it." Rather than "drunken".

Good luck with this, Shem.

Best regards

Chris

Re: beginings

Posted: June 15th, 2012, 4:13 pm
by creativesoul
i have felt feelings like this- nice-

Re: beginings

Posted: June 15th, 2012, 10:31 pm
by Shem
Thanks all, yes Chris I totally agree and actually saaved it that way .